


Oblivion

by Maiisbuns



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Mild Sexual Content, No beta we just cry together, Reunions, Too many damn characters, Zack Fair Lives, but at what cost, cloud is a twunk, kind of a slow burn but then things take a turn, no one is actually ok, sephiroth likes to make an entrance, takes place immediately after crisis core
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:01:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24332476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiisbuns/pseuds/Maiisbuns
Summary: Cloud Strife finally wakes up in Midgar and tries to cope with what he's missed over the last five years. Zack's wish to finally stop running and settle down doesn't go as planned.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 93
Kudos: 315





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It seems FF7 Remake has taken over my life, so here's to my first FF7 fic! I also never expected to love Clack quite this much. Please tell me what you think!

“Okay Cloud, do you remember the pods?”

Zack’s been doing this every night since he’s been awake.

They sit on the edge of a pile of scrap, with Zack’s hands pressed over both sides of Cloud’s temples. He never remembers much of anything.

“What do you remember?” Cloud asks, brow furrowed in frustration.

Zack shakes his head, “If I tell you it won’t help.”

He always says he won’t get better from just secondhand accounts, as though any sliver of what happened over the last four years might cause one of them to break. And for whatever reason, Cloud gets the feeling it’s not going to be him this time.

“I told you, the last thing I remember is Sephiroth.” Cloud sighs.

Zack nods, letting his hands fall away from Cloud’s hair and into his lap before giving the smallest smile. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”

They’d been in the same part of the Sector Three slums for a little less than a week. Using nothing but a ripped up tarp and a few broken wood palettes they made up a camp and just—never found the courage to leave.

“Zack.” Cloud says, watching his friend kick away some of the wood that’s started to splinter. “At some point we have to go.”

“Go where?”

“To find that girl.”

“Last resort, remember?”

Cloud rolls his eyes.

“We can make it here, maybe even Wall Market if we get really desperate.” 

“We’re desperate now.”

He’s raising his voice just a little, but it always fizzles out after reaching a certain octave. If the constant withholding of information wasn’t enough, then Cloud would have to say feeling this weak would be a closest thing to pushing him over the edge. 

Recovery was coming in fits and starts, and the mako definitely helped to streamline it. But the levels of poisoning were so high he would constantly relapse and have to take the steps to get back into it.

“You can’t even walk more than a few yards without getting winded.” Zack sighs, “We can’t stay here, and we can’t go any deeper into the plate, topside or the ground.” 

“Or what? Shinra? You don’t have to haul me around, and you said yourself that you’re feeling better.”

“Does everything I say just fly over that spikey ass head of yours?”

Cloud ignores him.

They both fall back onto the palette, gazing up at the blinking red and white lights of the plate. As they both drift off Cloud tries to look through the gaps that divide the sectors, but what little sliver of sky there is is all distorted with the fluorescent pollution of Midgar. 

By morning Zack has his hand lightly draped over Cloud’s bicep. A force of habit he’d said, the slightest precaution that if Cloud was moved he’d be the first to know even during rest. In his own awkward exchange of reassurance Cloud places his hand over his, turning his head to see if Zack so much as flinched from the pressure and more than ready to pull away if he did. 

He does, as Zack’s nose crinkles Cloud hurriedly moves his hand to his own chest. 

“G’Mornin’ Spikes.” Zack’s mutters.

Cloud sighs, only offering a nod and a breathy, “Mm.” 

Once Cloud’s stamina allows, they trudge their way deeper into the Sector Three slums. It’s one of the smaller encampments, made up of just a few tents, lean-tos and a shoddy apartment building on the brink of collapse. 

One of the inhabitants sells instant noodles and some stuff on a small grill. Zack buys a few helpings for the both of them and in exchange gets some information on what water doesn’t taste completely like shit. 

They eat under some metal sheets that have been arranged with barrels to work as seating. As soon as Cloud sits down he’s panting, trying every so often not to cough and getting frustrated when it doesn’t work.

“Just take it easy. Don’t rush it.” Zack says, smiling softly.

Cloud nods, waiting until his breathing’s more even to drink water.

“I thought about what you said—about Aerith.” Zack continues, “We’re almost out of gil, and we can’t sleep in the scrap forever.”

Cloud shrugs, “Scrap ain’t so bad.”

Zack nudges him playfully with a fist, “Shut up. Besides, I don’t think I’ve been fair to you. I know it hasn’t been long but I’m still used to haulin’ you around. But you’re up, and talkin’—and thank God for that because I think I was going crazy just talking to myself. But I should be challenging you. I can see you’re fighting, so I should help you to catch up on whatever time you lost.”

“What’s that mean for me?”

“You already push yourself, but I’m gonna help to push you a little harder. Whatever it takes.”

Cloud nods, “And then?”

“And then...when you can hold your own, we go find Aerith.”

They start immediately by taking the long way back to their palette in the scrap. Cloud tries to overcome his panting by following Zack’s breathing patterns. It helps. By the time they get back he’s not as winded but his muscles are achy. 

“How’s your mobility?” Zack asks.

Cloud shrugs, “Stiff, more or less.” 

Zack motions for Cloud to sit on the palette. “Put your leg out...and Cloud, I don’t wanna hear it.” 

“Hear wh—?”

Without warning Zack pushes him to lay back and begins bending his leg, ignoring Cloud’s groaning and squirming while extending and retracting the joints. When asked to push back his whole leg buckles before all the strength in it falls away. 

“I’ll take pouting.” Zack says, smiling just a bit. “Used to do this when you were out. You obviously wouldn’t push back though, which makes this more than an improvement.”

For a moment Cloud wonders what else Zack had to do for that year. Dragging around what was practically a corpse couldn’t have been easy. So many days he’d have to have spent in silence, and all he could do was float aimlessly, trying to find any way out of the blue green pool of mako. 

He wonders what pulled him in, what moment did he decide that sinking was better than trying to hold on, better than trying to fight it.

“Hey Zack, I—“

Zack shakes his head, “No need. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”

“Can we try now?” Cloud asks, rubbing circles into his thighs where the soreness is setting in. 

Zack nods and instinctively puts his palms over Cloud’s temples. “Remember something?”

“Maybe.”

Are you finished? The results are profound. In order to collect more data you’ll simply have to get used to it.

He can remember how distorted the room looked behind all the liquid, how it smelled like overprocessed mako, a combination of alcohol, soil and rotted mint. If he looked down his arms were connected to wires, some attached to sensors, and some as needles burrowed into his skin. He remembers feeling like he was burning. Screaming.

“The pods.” Cloud winces, “—it hurt, I couldn’t breathe.”

He can feel Zack lean forward, pressing their foreheads together. “That it?”

Cloud nods.

“You were only awake in there for maybe a week.” Zack says, “I’d already had enhancements before for SOLDIER, little by little. For whatever reason with you they gave it all at once.”

“SOLDIER perk.” Cloud shrugs.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that SOLDIER had no fuckin’ perks man. We’re all just a bunch of dumbasses chasing a pipe dream.”

Cloud looks down at his gloved hands, trailing his gaze up his arms and wonders if Zack’s body also doesn’t feel like it belongs to him. 

It takes almost a month before Zack claims that Cloud must be about seventy five percent back to being a fully functioning human. Aside from a few muscle spasms and dizzy spells he couldn’t really bring himself to disagree. Since whatever slivers her remembers about the pods he’s come up with next to nothing else memory wise. Just the name of the head of research and development—Hojo, he was told. 

“It’s plannin’ day.” Zack grins, “you ready?”

Cloud nods. “What’s first?”

“It’s pretty straightforward. We cut through sector four to get to five.” Zack shrugs.

“So why did I have to...never mind.”

Zack cups a hand around his ear before leaning in close. “What’s that, Spikes?”

“Nothing. Just go over the plan.”

“There’s a church on the outskirts of Five. I can guarantee we’ll find her there. Downside; there’s a bit of a wall between sectors, they don’t generally open up for back and forth traffic without scanning IDs, and I’d rather not go through the hassle of getting one.” Zack crosses his arms, popping a hip to signify the end of his brief.

“So, what do we do?”

“Sewers probably.”

“Next plan.”

He doesn’t get a say. Before long Zack has already found a sewer grate big enough to fit the two of them. 

“It reeks.” Cloud whines.

“Well yeah—it’s a sewer. What’d ya expect?” Zack stops just short of the first corner to pull his sword from his back.

“Something wrong?”

“No. Not yet anyway.” Zack leans his sword up against the wall and pulls out one of two materia. “For my trusty sidekick.” 

Cloud nods, quickly locking it into his bracer, “Thanks.”

As expected after just the first few tunnels there’s a group of sahagins taking refuge behind a few piles of stacked maintenance equipment. Cloud quickly steps in leaving them more than a little singed, though the resulting smoke wasn’t what he expected to bother him.

After leaving the third enclave Cloud doubles over into a coughing fit. He tries to slow it down, level his breathing enough to stifle it but it just leaves him to make an awkward groan in between sputters. 

“No rush.” Zack assures him. 

When he’s ready to continue they make progress slower than before. Unfortunately the place is a labyrinth, and between the hoards of sahagins and scissorclaws it’s leaving him progressively more out of breath. 

“Screw this.” Cloud wheezes, “I told you the sewers were a shit idea.”

“No matter what we ran into the same thing would’ve happened.” Zack shrugs, placing a hand on his back. It takes a little effort, but he tugs Cloud to stand upright, moving his hand to his chest. “Take it easy.”

As he breathes Cloud makes a point to see how easily Zack’s hand moves as his chest expands. It’s shaky, and every inhale has a pause as his inhale catches, struggling to take in more air. 

“That’s good.” Zack assures him again. 

“Fuck off.” 

He’s frustrated, sure. But having his best friend treating him like some old geezer from a nursing home certainly didn’t help. Three quarters of the way back to health wasn’t going to make him useful. Not that he’d ever been anyway.

Zack takes a step back, putting his hands on his hips. “Let’s switch it up then. I’ll take initiative on whatever we run into next. You’re probably running low on magic by now anyway. Save up enough for healing and keep that fire spell low grade, okay?” 

By the time they reach what Zack assumes is the exit Cloud imagines they must’ve climbed at least a hundred ladders, and got drenched with enough sewer water for a lifetime. 

“We’re seeing Aerith like this?” Cloud asks, pulling at his damp shirt.

“Depends what time it is up there.” Zack says, rubbing the back of his neck. “May have to just take us as we are…”

“Why did she like you again?”

“My dashing good looks and loveable charm?” 

Cloud rolls his eyes, gently nudging Zack out of the way to go up their last ladder. “Couldn’t be it”

The exit spits them out just past an old expressway. When they look up Cloud sees that they’re still in between plates. It’s dark but seemingly not too late as people pepper the dirt path that forks in front of them, suggesting either south or north. Zack gestures for the former, stopping to turn around as fireworks go off in the distance.

“Wall Market must be hoppin’.” Zack says, raising both brows. 

“Wall Market?”

Zack grins, “Forgot you’re a real backwater boy. Don’t worry about it.”

“Just as backwater as you.” Cloud huffs, “Lets just go.”

About halfway down the path the gravel starts to sweep up dust, flinging dirt and pebbles into a plume above them. Zack grabs Cloud’s wrist and shoves him behind a piece of sheet metal, putting his hand on his head to duck them both down. 

A helicopter passes overhead, dropping a rope in a clearing just some yards shy of them. Three infantry men and a suit descend, scanning the area before dropping their guard. 

“Turks.” Zack mutters. 

Cloud tries to peer over the metal, but Zack pushes down harder making him stay under cover. 

The one with the suit turns, adjusting his cufflinks and brushing away loose strands of hair from his shoulders. Luckily he yells loud enough to be heard over the chopper. Almost on cue both of them turn to each other, recognizing the voice as Tseng’s.

“Patrols only for tonight. Hopefully if this goes smoothly there will be nothing to report.” Tseng instructs. They all head into Sector Five, spreading to cover every pathway.

Zack lets Cloud sit up as they move out of sight, but not after ruffling his hair. “Looks like we won’t being going there.”

“Looks like it. What now?” 

Cloud watches as Zack taps on his chin. A grin starts creeping up at the corner of his lips that is just a little too mischievous. 

“First thing’s first. You gotta trust me, Cloud.”

“What if I don’t?”

Zack frowns, only to put on his puppy eyes and playful pout. “I would be hurt.” 

“Not my problem.” Cloud shrugs, then quickly reaches to ruffle Zack’s hair in return. “Lead on, Gongaga.”

“You don’t fool me, Strife.” Zack laughs, and without a second thought starts at a near skip back toward the fireworks.


	2. Two

The first thing Cloud thinks about Wall Market is that it’s too loud. Every shop has its own music wafting through the doorway and there’s chocobos squawking in the distance. Not to mention everywhere they walk Cloud has to bump into someone’s shoulder or elbow, or even more unfortunately graze some poor girl’s ass.

Zack takes the chaos in stride, weaving through the crowd at a speed that only rarely allows Cloud to keep pace. 

Without thinking he grabs Zack's hand just to realize the density of bodies has decreased.

A man with sunglasses brings them to a halt. “Welcome to Wall Market! Where your wildest pleasures can be realized—for the right price of course. Can I interest you two in a room?” 

Cloud’s cheeks flush red, quick to rip his hand from Zack’s. “Not a cha—“ 

“Actually, yeah.” Zack interjects and smiles apologetically, “Sorry, my partner and I just had a little fight, he needs to let off some steam. We do need to find a shop first though. Could you point us in the right direction?” 

“Of course. Right down that way, next to the massage parlor. Might think about visiting there too, could ease your boyfriend’s tension.” The man shrugs.

Cloud clenches his fists, “He’s not my—!”

“We’ll be back, thank you!” 

Zack wraps an arm around Cloud’s shoulders in an attempt to shut him up as they start in the direction of the shop. “Such a kid, Spikes.”

Cloud spins out of his arm, “Whatever.”

They pass ramen and burger shops, and there’s a few people who hand them flyers for some place called the Honey Bee Inn. Cloud tries to make sense of it all but every so often a drunk patron hobbles into him, ruining the allure.

“Just realized something.” Zack huffs, slowing them down. “We haven’t eaten since leaving Sector Three.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really expect to until we got to Aerith.” Cloud shrugs.

“You’re probably beat, huh?”

He just shrugs again. “I have a little energy to spare, some food wouldn’t hurt though.”

At the shop Zack sells the last of his materia, save for healing. It gets them a few hundred Gil, enough for a couple of nights at the hotel and something hot to eat. 

They find a table on a terrace where over the railing they can see the string lights and neon illuminating the scrap. It’s nothing like any of the other sectors, it’s bustling and raunchy but full of life. Cloud’s never been anywhere but topside, a back and forth between headquarters and infantry barracks. Mostly all he knows is helicopters and reactor patrols. 

While taking in what he can he can’t help but notice that Zack is severely relaxed but still attentive. He really is like a puppy, so playful and curious about their surroundings, but always at the ready for whatever might come his way.

As if on cue, Zack sits up a little straighter, locking his eyes on the empty bowl in front of him. Two men pass wearing makeshift armor.

“Gonna need a drink for this.” One of them says.

“Three thousand Gil a fight ain’t no joke.” 

Zack perks up even more. “Who’s paying that?” He says loud enough for them to hear.

Both men turn, prying off the caps of their beers with jagged knives. “The Don. What’s it to you?”

“Might be lookin’ to join.” 

“Pretty boys like you two?” They laugh.

“You’d be surprised. C’mon, you tell me where this fight is and I’ll get you another beer.” Zack smiles.

For whatever reason that’s all the convincing they need. Zack pulls his buster out that’s been only mildly hidden behind the table, catching their worried expressions he buys them beers as promised, immediately heading for Corneo Colosseum. 

“There’s no rules?” Cloud asks, falling in step with him.

“From what they told me, Doesn’t look it.”

“Best to expect the worst then.” 

Zack stops just a few buildings away from the entrance. 

Cloud knows that look. “I’m not sitting this one out, or whatever you’re gonna say.”

“If there’s no rules that means—listen, Spikes, you’re not there yet.”

Seventy five percent, Cloud remembers, but he’s still shaking and his face feels hot with anger. Even with enhancements he’s still useless. He doesn’t respond, doesn’t yell, doesn’t protest, but the glare he gives him seems to drive the point home.

Zack sighs, “I’ll make it up to you.”

The colosseum matches the Don’s mansion, mostly in tackiness. From the ceiling to the floor the decor screams Wutai, leaving Cloud to wonder why Shinra didn’t come barging in simply because Corneo’s taste is shit. 

From the moment they enter, Cloud makes sure not to say a word and hopes Zack realizes he’s definitely ignoring him. He does well through check in, letting Zack put down his name as they direct Cloud to the bleachers. But before he can turn back for the guest entrance Zack puts a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey.” He’s got that puppy-like gaze again. “I do wish you could be out there, we’d probably make a badass team.”

“Probably?” 

“Nah, you’re right, we definitely would.” Zack says, pulling the warmest smile he can manage. “But this won’t mean anything if I don’t know you’ll be cheering me on.”

“Cheer?”

“Uh...you know—just do your best, man.” 

“Hoo boy.” Cloud deadpans.

“That was really bad, but I’ll take it!” Zack laughs.

With that he ruffles Cloud’s hair and jogs toward the elevator, leaving him to the flow of spectators on the way to the stands. 

The entire act of just— _sitting_ puts him on edge. People are too close, the woman sitting next to him keeps sliding over to reach across for the person selling concessions. An elderly man sits on the other side, and keeps complaining loudly about how his Junon Lager ain’t the way it used to be. 

“Anything for you sir?” 

Cloud turns around, realizing he’s been keeping his eyes closed tight in an attempt to drown out as much of the situation as he can. “What?”

“Can I get you anything? We have popcorn, well drinks, and beer.” 

“Uh, the drink guess?” 

They begin going over various types of alcohol and some house cocktails. Cloud ends up picking whatever they mentioned first. It’s better than nothing, and maybe it’ll help to drown out the yelling of over overexcited patrons and crowding.

His drink comes just as the announcers walk out, nearly knocking the glass out of the worker’s hand as the crowd goes wild. 

One of the presenters starts off and is immediately piggy backed by another, “Ladies and gentleman!”

“Boys and girls!”

“Tonight we have a spectacle like no other!”

“An arena filled to the brim with danger just for you!”

“We’ve got beasts—!“

“We’ve got brawn!”

“And there will be blood with only one lucky bastard leaving this arena tonight.”

Cloud stands up, glaring down at the pair as they move aside and the large doors behind them begin to open.

“Without further ado, we start our night off with a bang! A real bombshell if you ask me!"

“And she’ll be taking on our newest competitor, a military man with an equally great build and even greater hair!” 

“Evie and Zack!”

Already the rules are thrown out the window as Evie emerges with two bombs at her flanks. They float around her in a slow circle as Zack approaches, waiting until someone rings the bell. 

Much to their confusion Zack takes a step back at match start. His sword up and guarding, his stand wide and balanced, just waiting. Meanwhile the bombs have begun orbiting Evie at a faster speed, creating a fiery ring as they pick up momentum. 

They stand in the same positions long enough for the crowd to begin to boo, but Cloud’s eyes stay locked on Zack. 

Before too long Evie gets impatient, pulling out two serrated daggers as she charges in after opening with a fire spell. The bombs follow her lead, letting off jets of flames that circle the field. Even from afar Cloud can see Zack smirking at her impulse as he springs into a dodge. He makes quick work of the bombs, bouncing around on light feet until they’re all just fizzled out lumps of cinders. 

When he settles on Evie, she’s faster. Cloud tenses up as she easily leaps over Zack and drags the blade down his back on the way down. It causes the slightest slip in his stance making him stumble as he dodges her next lunge. Luckily he gets his bearings back quick enough to counter, knocking her nearly to the other end of the ring. 

They go on like that for a while, Evie lunges and darts away, Zack guards and counters wherever possible. Cloud assumes he’s wearing her out, and he’s right, gradually she begins panting and her footwork isn’t as precise. Zack takes advantage with a particularly forceful thrust, driving her into the ground with Zack’s blade just a few centimeters from her throat. 

The crowd chants, urging Zack to finish her off. Cloud looks around at their faces, grins from ear to ear and brutal smirks at the soon-to-be loser and one another. But Zack doesn’t swing his sword, instead he pulls away, storing his buster back in its harness and extending a hand, giving her a sheepish grin when she doesn’t take it. 

Three matches later and Zack has taken down a few guard dogs, a man with an axe and a seemingly endless array of materia, and three sweepers. He ends none of the matches the way they intend, but each leaves Cloud at the edge of his seat. 

When it’s all over he waits for Zack past the crowded steps full of people who give a mix of disappointment and congratulations. 

“Celebrations are in order, Spikes!” Zack beams, bounding up to him.

He’s a mess, his hair is even more disheveled than usual and his lip is busted and blue, but he’s still smiling so wide even though Cloud is certain all of him must ache. “You look terrible.” 

“You should _really_ see the other guys.” He wraps an arm around Cloud’s shoulders, wheeling them both back in the direction of the inn.

Somewhere along the way Zack picks up a bottle of liquor and tonic and pours two glasses for them as soon as they settle in.

“Shouldn’t you—“ Cloud sighs, deciding against reason and simply pouring in a few drops of potion. 

“How’d I do? Honest opinion.” Zack asks, putting his elbows on the table and resting his chin in his palms.

Cloud shrugs, taking a drink, “You’re slow.” 

“Knew that already. Can’t be helped.” 

“Other than that...it was fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Just fine.” Cloud smirks a little.

Zack pouts, “Tough crowd.”

They stay up late into the night and Zack nearly finishes the entire bottle on his own. By the last of it he’s a bit loopy but uncharacteristically calm. 

“So many places…” Zack mutters.

Cloud watches him get up from the table and collapse into the bed. 

"I took you...to so many, and you never got to see it.”

“I’m sorry.” Cloud says.

“Don’t be. Is it bad if I say sometimes it was better? Not that you weren’t there, but that you couldn’t hear me—couldn’t hear what I’d tell you.”

“No, but I don’t know that it would make a difference.”

“Oh, it would, Spikes.” 

Cloud gets up to remove Zack’s armor and unzip his boots. “Doubt it.”

“I’d tell you about the sky, and the people we met along the way. Or that time I left you behind a tree and I sweaaaar—I swear I marked it before leaving.”

“You lost me…?”

“Like forgetting where I parked a car.” Zack chuckles.

Cloud scoffs, “Tell me more.”

“Sometimes you’d look around and your eyes had so much light in them, they’d wander and wander until it went out.” Zack is sprawling across the bed, arms out so wide they hang off the mattress. Despite being unzipped he still hasn’t taken off his boots. “And some days you’d just be damn peaceful. I’d tell you about my shit day and you’d just listen, or I’d yell it out and your head would just kind of drop to the side, like you were telling me to stop.” 

“I probably was.” Cloud laughs. 

“There’s so many things I want you to remember.”

He wishes he would just tell him more of the important parts, instead of giving him scraps to dwell on and eventually feel guilty about. “Wanna try now?” 

Zack sits up and puts his hands up, gently pushing Cloud’s hair back and behind his ears. He clears his throat, swaying a little bit before leaning forward and putting their foreheads together. “Nibelheim, Sephiroth...Hojo...I’m sick of it.”

_I’m sick of all of this!_

“Tifa!” Cloud jumps, knocking their heads into each other. “What happened to her?”

Zack looks up and shakes his head. “No idea.” 

He looks a little sullen at the thought of her, as though Cloud punched him in the gut just from her name. He considers his current condition and decides not to pry any further, instead taking the bed on the other side of him.

Yet, as Cloud kicks off his own boots and curls up on the lumpy mattress of the inn, for the first time Zack doesn’t reach out to him out of habit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I don't have anyone under the impression that this is entirely a fluffy slice of life fic. (because that would be bad) I'm also amazed at the amount of motivation I have to write this. It's been a while since i've been attached to character that i've been willing to write them and try to do it well. So thanks Cloud Strife and Final Fantasy, for taking over my life. Anyway, thank you so much for all your kudos, bookmarks and stuff, this is still just the beginning and its already getting more traction than most of my other fics. :)


	3. Three

Through the night Zack tosses and turns, waking up every so often before drifting off again. Each time is the same, tearing at his lungs with a burning until he’s jolted awake.

The setting is consistent, he’s back in that lab, constantly trying to keep his footing as the mako swirls around him, keeping him submerged. Bubbles envelope his vision every time he breathes, and any and all sound is muffled through the glass. When he swivels around to look at the pod next to him, Cloud is there, sunken to the bottom, only the smallest pockets of air rising when he exhales.

“Cloud!” Zack yells, but the mako rushes down his throat leaving him gasping.

He wakes up again, only to doze back off, always the same dream.

The last time is the only one with some difference. Zack turns around to the second pod, and Cloud is awake. 

“Cloud! Can you hear me?!” The burning sensation begins immediately, but he pushes through jagged breaths. “Just hold on, okay? You gotta hold on.”

Cloud’s eyes are half lidded, one hand pressed to the front of the glass as though he was trying to muster the strength to push it open. He’s not looking at him. Zack taps on his own barrier which causes Cloud to jump. Good, at least he can still get his attention. 

He’s struggling to get to him, using both hands to keep himself upright, “Zack…” Cloud mouths to him. 

Zack mirrors his position to let him know he hears him, lining up his palms to Cloud’s. “You’re strong, Spikes. You’ve got this.” But someone else taps on the glass, drawing Cloud’s attention away from him. 

Hojo, clipboard in hand, stands only a few inches from Cloud’s sunken face. He turns his head to Zack and smirks, lips curling up into a crooked laugh. “One, two—three.”

On his count Cloud’s entire body goes rigid, eyes wide in fear as his fingers claw at the glass. He stays still a few seconds before doubling over and clamping his hands over his ears, nails digging into his head. He’s slipping and writhing in all the mako, sinking down to his knees with muffled screams.

“Stop it!” Zack pleads, banging on the barrier between them. “Please!” When he goes to pound on the tank, he wakes up again. 

Sleeping isn’t providing any rest, that much he’s sure of. But he’s not quite ready to tackle the day either, not after that. 

He keeps his eyes closed, draping his forearm over his head. Through steady breaths he tries to take in any residual pain from the night before; headache, a sting down his back, and what feel like some bruises. Not too bad, nothing a shower and a little food won’t cure.

He decides to reach over for Cloud, but is instead met with a fistful of blankets. 

Zack tries not to panic, patting the mattress a few times before shooting upright. Stumbling from the vertigo of getting up too fast he checks the bathroom, and even the closet. Finding nothing he bursts through the door and down the hall.

“You seen a guy about this tall, blonde hair, kind of a dick but doesn’t really mean it?” Zack asks the receptionist, holding his hand up to his collarbone to show just how tall Cloud is. 

“Left this morning.” The receptionist shrugs, “said he’d be back later and you’d probably extend your stay or check out soon. You decided?”

“I’ll get back to you.”

Zack rushes back to his room, quickly fastening his belts and bracers. The buster sword is still propped up next to the bed, but when he moves it a slip of paper falls to the floor, landing on a table next to some bread and tea infused with potion.

Went shopping. Took some gil. Be back later. You better drink the tea.   
-Cloud

“Dammit, Spikes.” Zack huffs.

He has to admit, while vague at least Cloud tried to calm his worries. Besides, he has been pushing for independence, and despite not being in the best shape, Zack doesn’t think anything as small as monsters or a few sector 6 thugs are gonna underestimate him.

But that doesn’t mean he no longer feels the need to protect him.

Still, Zack decides to wait. If Cloud wants to go out on his own and buy a few things, who is he to stop him? He tries laying back in bed after requesting a hot plate and kettle. The tea Cloud left tastes like shit, but it does soothe the cut on his back and bring down the little swelling still on his lip. 

As he lays back staring at the crooked panels of the ceiling he has to admit, he’s scared to drift into sleep again. As soon as he’d start to doze off he’d have to gamble if it would be a nightmare or just the dark. If anything, he wishes he could choose what moment of their imprisonment, skipping over the parts where Cloud is just there screaming. But then Zack remembers that was pretty much all of it. 

For a few days Hojo would leave them be, leaving Zack exhausted as he tries to look around for an escape while Cloud struggles to stay conscious, reduced to whimpers. 

“Stay with me, Spikes.” Zack would say, putting his palm on the glass. 

Cloud would do the same if he was able, pressing half bent fingers to the pod separating them, fighting to keep his eyes open. 

“Zack…” 

“Yeah?”

“Sorry...” He says as his hand starts slipping.

“No, Cloud. You don’t have to be sorry. But you need to stay with me, please stay with me. I won’t ask for anything else.”

“Mmh...m’kay.”

He tries to talk him through it, keep his breathing even and his attention focused. Some days he’d just talk and talk, and Cloud would nod as the only affirmation he was still there to listen. And for a while that was enough, but every time Hojo comes back he seems to sink further and further until it couldn’t be undone. 

Now, when he tries to get Cloud to remember he hopes for the happier parts. Hopes maybe he’ll remember one of the sunlit days in Costa Del Sol, where the heat almost fucking killed them but seeing the push and pull of the sea could ease his worry, if only for a while. Or one of the nights in the woods where Zack tried to get him to look at the stars. He’d point at the constellations while keeping Cloud close, tucking his head in between his chin and chest. Every time trying to imagine what he’d say, or what he’d feel, if anything at all.

When night comes, Zack realizes he’s spent all day running on nothing but tea and bread. That, and Cloud still isn’t back so maybe it would be best to kill two birds with one stone. 

Quick to shower and put on his boots, he pays for another night at the inn before stopping at whatever restaurant or stand he happens upon first. He gets a second box of takeout for Cloud, and starts investigating the nearby shops. 

After the fight yesterday he promised to make it up to him, but didn’t have any idea how. Clothes were out of the question considering Cloud would probably hate anything he chose, and it might send the wrong message. Flowers…why the fuck would he get him flowers? 

Zack shook his head, “C’mon think, dumbass.”

He ends up in a weapon shop named “Machine Gun” that doesn’t even sell—machine guns. They have a few crossbows, knives, pistols and a gun that looks like it would attach to an arm.

“That one’s in for repairs.” The shopkeeper says, making Zack jump. 

“Right. Uh, you got anything smaller? I got a guy—former infantryman, needs something to keep the monsters at bay.”

“May have a thing or two.”

He shows him a few rifles and handguns, all made of Shinra material that was either stolen or taken apart to make something better. Zack tries aiming a few options at the back wall, feeling for their weight and how Cloud might feel pulling the trigger. I’m the end he decides against all of them, pushing them back into the far side of the counter.

“On second thought, got any swords?”

“Sold my only one this morning. Big sword too, not too much smaller than that one.” The dealer shrugs, nodding at Zack’s buster. 

“That’s too bad, well, thank you for your time.”

He buys a few used materia to replace the ones he sold, and gets Cloud a pair of wrist guards and another bracer instead. 

When he leaves, Wall Market is starting to get busy again. He checks back with the receptionist at the inn who still hasn’t seen him. Must be about time he asks the crowd.

He tries the gym and Colosseum but no dice. A man outside of the general store directs him to the massage parlor run by a woman named Madam M. 

She’s intense, fanning herself slowly as though they’d soften up her glares, “You’re not a customer?” 

“No ma'am, Just looking for a friend.”

“Well he isn’t here.” Madam fans him this time, blowing away the strands of hair that hang in his face. “A big boy like you should be enjoying himself.”

“I should really be going now…”

“No, no. I saw a blonde one dressed like you, a few hours ago...might tell you which way he went if you let me have a look.” She says, gesturing at his gloved hands.

Zack tilts his head, quirking a brow as he uncovers his fingers. She takes it immediately, inspecting the front and back, pinching his palms and wiggling the joints.

“You’re tense.” She frowns, “Come with me.”

He does, but keeps trying to rush her as they make their way into the back of the parlor. But in moment's notice she’s got him laying flat on the massage table, armor and harness removed.

“Men like you are always in a hurry.” Madam M pouts.

“This is just really impor—ow!”

“Don’t talk over me!” She yells, and then her voice falls back into a relaxing purr. “Just take this in.”

She gets Zack to shut up by pressing harder on knotted up muscles when he goes to speak. Evidently he’s got tension in his palms and knuckles, and after a while he gets too comfortable and allows her to have a go of his arms and shoulders too. 

“That’ll be two thousand Gil.” Madam M finally says, handing him his harness.

“What?!”

“My services aren’t cheap, and neither is information for that matter.”

“I didn’t ask for a massage though!”

“Hm, you’re right, twenty-five hundred.” 

“You’re insane.” Zack says reaching into his pockets. 

“And you’re wasting my time and yours.”

She walks him back up to the front counter, shoving the wadded up Gil into the register. “He went toward Chocobo Sam’s. It was hours ago so you likely won’t find him there, but it’ll be a place to start.”

He’s out the door before she can say anything else, sprinting toward the chocobo stables he and Cloud passed on the way in. The closer he gets the more he has to fight the crowd that’s begun to fill up the sector. They push him back every few steps causing him to lose ground. Zack grows frustrated, shoving past a man who’s already drunk off his ass and yelling curses.

When he finally makes it out he lets out a sigh of relief at the familiar sight of swings and giant moogles.

“Cloud?” Zack calls out, checking inside the first slide’s tunnel. “Please be okay.” He finds nothing before walking toward the expressway. 

There’s a barrier that’s been broken down, and smoke billows out from a fire. Bandits. Zack hears something shuffle behind him.

“Cloud!”

He’s trying to pick himself up, grunting as he struggles to get to his knees. There’s a sword strapped to his back, making Zack realize it’s probably the one from the weapons store. Before he can try again Zack already has him gathered into his chest, checking for injuries.

“I’m here.” Zack says, smiling as he realizes he isn’t hurt.

“Zack?” Cloud blinks, his eyes desperate and empty, “Zack I…”

“You what?”

Cloud shakes his head, tears welling up in his eyes. “I don’t...I don’t know. I didn’t mean to—I just…”

“What did you do?” Zack asks again. He looks at Cloud’s uniform and hands, both glistening red and then looks over to see blood dripping down the blade from the handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll be about time we start adding in the rest of the gang in the next chapter or so, these boys have been alone too long Please let me know what you think. :)


	4. Four

**_Seven hours earlier_ **

Cloud gets bread from a cart near the front desk and asks reception if there’s anything that’s good for some cuts and bruising. 

“You staying another night then?”

“Looks that way, yeah.” Cloud shrugs, “If we change our minds we’ll be out to settle the bill, I guess.”

He hopes Zack doesn’t get too worried, but being on standby has him on edge and if he doesn’t get out and do _something_ useful he might lose it. Besides, maybe if he does this Zack might even trust him, not that he doesn’t, but knowing he doesn’t need to dote on him might be nice. 

Cloud heads for the weapons store first, a little regretful about the weight of the gil lining his pocket.

“What can I do ya for?” The weapons dealer leans over the counter, resting his weight on his elbows.

Suddenly Cloud realizes he didn’t think this far ahead. “...weapon, I guess.”

“Well you came to the right place for that.” The dealer laughs, “We got firearms, daggers, spears, staffs, even basic brass knuckles. You name it.”

“Swords?” Cloud asks quickly.

“Just one.”

What he brings out is almost as big as the buster and just as heavy. It’s a little showy though, with a red line going up the blade near the hilt and an engraving down the middle. 

“This here’s the Hardedge.” The dealer says, setting it down as gently as he can but still making a loud thunk when it hits the table. “Might be a little big for a leaner guy you.”

Cloud shakes his head, “Might be just right actually.” 

He goes to lift it with one hand and is a little surprised at how easy it is, he doesn’t hide the grin that creeps onto his lips when he settles it into the harness. 

“How much?”

“Priced it at fifteen, I’ll take it down to twelve hundred since I don’t know anyone else who might put it to use.”

Cloud pays him,throwing in a little extra for him to sharpen it. “Do you know any other ways into Sector Five?” 

“What? Like back ways?” 

“Something like that.”

“Don’t see why you would, it’s a straight shot from here but you could use the old collapsed expressway. ‘S got an ass full of monsters though.”

The dealer gives Cloud directions which he pays for by buying Zack a few extra potions for the road. Turns out he may as well have bought the sword in full.

Wall Market isn’t so bad during the day. A lot of the shop owners are quiet, some of them just sweeping the fronts of their doorways and preparing for the night ahead. Six’s slums are much more structurally sound than the others, with towering hotels and staircases that don’t look like they’re near falling apart. There’s a gym and a clinic he hadn’t noticed before, and a few couples window shopping outside of a clothing store. He stops and wonders what kind of clothing might suit the two of them. Maybe when he gets back he’ll have to ask Zack.

Cloud shakes his head, trying to brush off any residual guilt of leaving him back at the inn. It’s getting hard to tell himself he’s doing them both a favor.

When he turns away from the shop window, a woman pokes him in the chest with a fan. 

“I love a nice dress.” She smirks, her voice smooth and sweet like honey.

“Good for you.”

She drags the fan down toward his stomach, “You don’t have to put up the tough boy act for me.”

“It’s not an act, now if you could please just—“

The fan is pressed to his lips now, and her smirk turned to a glare, “Maybe it’s better if you didn’t speak.”

Cloud lets out something between a sigh and a growl, gently pushing her hand away with the back of his own. “I have to go.”

As he takes his leave down a pathway of food carts and back alleys he can’t help but wonder how exactly Zack does it. Politeness was never his strength but biting his tongue when he was uncomfortable was near unbearable. Besides, he can’t help but think it was a little early in the day for her to be so forward. 

Back on track, he ends up going in a few circles, realizing Sector Six is a little more maze-like than he anticipated, but the buildings and shacks eventually fall away, leading to the all too familiar piles of scrap. The path ahead winds until it reaches a park and the gate to Sector Seven. There’s a few guards outside of it scanning for ID’s so Cloud avoids them and tries to walk off like he’s got a purpose. 

The expressway sits just behind the park, a collection of broken up concrete and rubble. There’s a makeshift barrier made of wood and an old chain link fence that blocks off a gap big enough for him to squeeze through, but it’s locked using a thick piece of wire and a pipe. It’s nothing his sword can’t cut but considering the circumstances it might be better that he didn’t leave too much damage. 

“Can we help you?” 

Cloud turns after giving the contraption a tug. “No.” 

_Shit_.

“No, huh? Just looked to me like you were having a bit of trouble.”

There’s three of them, all a little bigger and taller, not quite Zack’s height but nearly there. The sight of them makes Cloud stand up straighter, puffing his chest out as he talks. “None at all. What do you want?”

“Shouldn’t we be asking that question?”

“I’m just passing through.”

The three of them look at each other and back to Cloud, “Where to? Nothing but bandits and monsters from here on out.”

“Sector Five.”

“Five...” What Cloud assumes is the leader steps in closer, “Turns out, were goin’ that way too. Might as well head in together—strength in numbers or whatever.”

Cloud sighs, “Like I give a shit.”

The guy places a hand on his shoulder, nudging him to the entrance. They wait until it’s assumed that they need Cloud to cut the wire, when he does they let him go in first and get a little ways through the tunnel before he stops to check for them.

They’ve all stopped, blocking the way back out so that if he needs to move he can only go further in. “Where’d you come from anyway? Sector Seven?”

“What’s it to you?” 

“We’re looking for someone, a guy with a gun for an arm, heard he might’ve been from Seven. You know ‘em?”

“I don’t.” Cloud looks to see that the other two are reaching in their pockets. 

Of course he didn’t expect not to run into problems, but a few thugs were pretty far down the list. Regardless, the plan for the day was still in motion, clear a path to Sector Five and check for Turks, and then report back. This was just a small roadblock in phase one.

The two in the back pull out knives while the leader dons a pair of gloves with a few materia locked in. He slips them on over his knuckles, adjusting the fit. “Looks like you might.”

Cloud thinks back to Zack’s fight with Evie and adjusts his stance. They’re slower than she was, but when they use a lightning spell it knocks him off his feet giving two of the others room to follow and flank him from the back. Their blades graze his waist and arms, making it hard for him to think long enough to catch his breath. 

The leader’s fingers crackle again as Cloud gains his footing, “All you have to do is tell us where he is.”

“I already told you, I don’t know.”

He manages to dodge the strike this time, but forgets again about the flank coming from the back. This time they knick his cheek and jam the other knife into his side. It causes Cloud to collapse, breathing hard as he scrambles to use the healing in his bracer.

“What’s that sword for anyway? You even know how to use it or is it just for show?”

The spell isn’t strong but it stops the bleeding, won’t do anything about the sting and ache though. Cloud bares it, pushing himself back up to his feet, stance stable and rigid. For whatever reason, this rush feels different, like he’s too eager and it’s burning him from the inside out.

“Fuck off.”

Knocking them down this time comes easy, even when they switch to a wind spell and follow up with a slightly different flank he’s able to parry. When the last one goes down he holds the edge of the blade to the throat of the guy who’s in charge. Luckily, he puts both hands up in surrender. 

For a moment he feels like he’s mirroring Zack, hands steady as he lifts his sword to place it back into the harness. But something stops him halfway, and his hands shake, unable to finish the movement.

_Give in._

His eyes shut tight, and he throws one hand to his head as he’s hit with a searing headache. It travels from the back of his head to his temple, throbbing through his skull and reverberating the voice in his ear. It’s raspy and teasing and much too close, seeming to burrow deeper even as the pain doesn’t stop. 

There’s a feeling like his fingers are being pried away, forcing his free hand from his ear and back to the sword’s handle. When he opens his eyes he sees gloves hands reaching over his own, feels breath down his neck and silver hair spilling over his shoulder, setting his position before disappearing entirely. 

_Good Cloud, right there._

His grip on Cloud lessens and he appears in front of him, putting the thugs in a frozen state before making them fade into nothing. 

“I killed you—you’re dead.”

Sephiroth’s voice, still relaxed and even comes from behind. “Do you really think you were meant to save him?”

Cloud grips the sword tighter, picking up his heel to turn, “Shut up.”

“You shouldn’t misunderstand, both of you are already gone.” 

“I said shut up!” 

His swings of the Hardedge don’t seem to connect with anything, but the air grows colder and he no longer feels as warm. When the presence finally falls away he drops down to all fours as though he was exhausted by the weight of it, but the static still rings in his ears and his palms are trembling. 

_All you have to do is let go._

After a few breaths he looks up to find the thugs he was fighting, all bloody and half reduced to ribbons. Their bones are exposed through deep cuts and one of them is laying with both hands clutching a wounded throat, mouth open and desperate in a suspended last breath. 

Cloud quickly puts the sword back onto his harness and stumbles backward, red stained gloves mindlessly reaching up to press his hands to his head. 

Another headache settles in, flashing a set of images that flicker in and out; the beach, the desert and a rainy cliff side, and finally Zack forcing his head into his chest, painfully whispering something Cloud can’t make out. 

When it stops he finds himself back in the park and shakily lowers himself to his knees. 

“Cloud?” 

“Za..”

“I’m here.” 

His eyes flutter open when he realizes he has no idea how he ended up in Zack’s arms. 

Zack?” Cloud says, trying to reach up but somehow feeling much too far away, “Zack I…”

“You what?”

Cloud shakes his head, thinking about what lies just beyond the first few yards of expressway, “I don’t...I don’t know. I didn’t mean to—I just…”

“What’d you do?” Zack grabs his hands, squeezing his damp gloves hard.

“I couldn’t hold back.” 

Zack doesn't say anything, just gathers him up and heads back for their room at the inn. Even as he helps Cloud slip out of the stained pants and turtleneck he holds them up in a silence. All Cloud can do is sit and allow it, stare blankly into the walls and floor until he’s led to the shower. 

“I’m not mad.” Zack finally says, leaning against the door, “Just confused, I guess.”

He’s lying, has to be, his voice is too rehearsed and there’s something about his tone that says he’s telling it more to himself. 

Cloud sighs, scrubbing at a cut on his arm.

“It just sounds...not like you. Not like the Cloud I know—or maybe knew.”

Cloud quietly slips to the shower floor.

Zack takes a deep breath, lightly hitting the back of his head against the door, “I just know—I know that’s not just my _idea_ of you.”

Cloud wants to tell him, wants to explain the feeling of the static and the too real voice and gloved hands. But he can’t. “I’m sorry...I guess I didn’t expect them to gang up on me.”

No, from the moment he cut the gate he expected it.

“The mako—It’s gotta be.” Zack says. “We’ll figure this out, Spikes. Until then, let me handle this one, and no more fighting alone.”

Zack leaves him a set of sweats and tries to sneak the SOLDIER uniform into the inn’s washer and dryer. All Cloud can do is sit on the edge of the bed and wait, eyes turned down to his hands. Uncovered they seem delicate, nimble and soft and only belonging to him. But the longer he looks the more he can feel Sephiroth’s fingers enveloping his, with a force and a burning that urges him to pick up that sword again and swing, not caring who may actually lie behind it. 

The thoughts leave Cloud in a panic, his breathing quick and uneven until Zack returns, slipping his fingers under his chin and tilting his head up to draw his focus.

“Stay with me.” Zack says, his eyes pleading, “You can’t go back there now.” 

If their eyes match, Cloud thinks his can’t possibly be that bright. The glow of Zack’s is piercing, but familiar and warm all at once. They both linger in the exchange a little longer, until Cloud falters and allows himself to be pulled into Zack’s chest. 

“You’re stronger than you look, Cloudy Sky.”

Zack murmurs, “Me too.”

“He’d talk to me there, I know it.” Cloud mumbles.

“Huh?”

“The lab.”

Zack lets go of him then, his expression crinkled with confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Sephiroth.”

“He’s dead.”

“I know that!” Cloud hisses, “Or I thought I knew…”

There’s a heaviness to the silence that follows, as though they’re both searching for what to say next. But Cloud is tired, and his eyes keep starting to dull as though he might slip back into some far off place. 

“Let’s just get some rest and regroup.” Zack says in a hurry, running his hand up and down Cloud’s back, “You know, when I'd mess up, Angeal used to remind me that I can’t change today, but I do have control over tomorrow. So let’s just...let’s start there, okay?” 

“I don’t think that counts for murder.”

“It does when you’re a SOLDIER.”

Cloud looks up at him, seeing a twinge of pain in his eyes. 

Apparently they both have something to hide. It explains why Zack was so calm on the matter, and why he was so willing to just let it go. It doesn’t seem like he’s the only one who needs comforting. When Zack’s fingers finally land on his shoulder Cloud hesitates, but eventually reaches up to interlace his own. 

Slowly, they both collapse back onto the bed, curled into one another. Cloud keeps a gentle hand on Zack’s wrist trying to maintain a steady and confident pressure. When it doesn’t feel like enough he pulls himself forward, burying his head in the groove between his chin and neck comforted by the rise and fall of his breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a little tough for me to write, only because it's setting up a lot for future chapters even though it feels like somehow not a lot happened. Thank you guys so much for your comments I really try to reply to most if not all of them :)


	5. Five

_Do you really think you were meant to save him?_

Cloud is suddenly jerked awake. His skin is clammy and the room is still pitch dark as his eyes adjust from sleep. The room is silent, but not at all peaceful, making him slowly scan the room as objects start coming into view.

There’s nothing toward the far wall except the light of the hallway underneath the door. 

_Just give in._

Without hesitation he rises to his feet, slowly reaching for the door handle as he walks. With every step the sound of boots match his own, until he’s close enough to see the shadow of someone else on the other side ready to meet him.

He doesn’t turn the knob, instead, he lets his hand rest on the wood before leaning in to listen. 

There’s nothing but the faintest whispers, and the muffled muttering of something. The floor behind the barrier creaks as whoever is beyond it seems to sway forward and back, trying to keep their balance. 

It must be another guest, drunk off their ass after a night parading through Wall Market. It wouldn’t be the first time someone wandered to the wrong room, it probably wouldn’t be the last. Cloud takes a step back, shaking his head before finally opening the door. 

“Wrong roo—“ Cloud starts to say but is met with nothing in the hall.

Before he closes the door there’s a change in temperature where everything grows almost uncomfortably warm. The room falls silent again, and the hallway light goes out and with it takes it vision. Before he can even begin to make his way back to bed the air grows thick and his heartbeat quickens. He grows nervous, trying to take a step forward, but the more he tries the further away he seems to get. 

“Zack!” He calls out, reaching for him.

No one responds, leaving him to gasp, clawing at his throat as the all too familiar smell of earth and rotted mint seep in. The dark of the night turns to green as it pulls him back to sleep.

_Oh Cloud, can’t you see? He’s already gone._

* * *

  
  


By morning the news of the bodies in the expressway has spread through the slums. Luckily, the deaths were assumed to be amounted to monsters and negligence as they breached the barrier. The fact that no one is going to correct them makes Cloud sick to his stomach. 

The front desk attendant shakes his head as Zack settles their payment, “They’ll forget by tomorrow. People die in the slums all the time, whether by monsters or bandits, or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s how it’s always been. Not to mention, they were a few of Corneo’s men, ‘bout time they got what was comin’ to ‘em.”

“Corneo’s men?” Cloud tilts his head.

“Filthy fuckers, been doing nothing but bad on behalf of The Don. There’s the trio, they bring in money to upkeep this place, not all terrible. But then there’s _them_.”

Zack looks over at Cloud who’s shoulders have relaxed a little. “Guess the universe did us a favor.”

“You’re tellin’ me.”

They leave the inn and head back for the main path between sectors. It’s early, but at least Cloud’s holding his chin a little higher, causing him to sigh with relief. “Looks like you might’ve done more good than it feels like.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Cloud says.

He feels a little embarrassed, even if he did do some much needed pest control he still wasn’t able to shake the thought of being found half passed out in the dirt. He could get over what he did—just not _how_.

“What are you thinking, Spikes?” 

Cloud looks at him and shakes his head, “Nothing. You said I have control over today, I’ll just focus on that.”

The two of them head to Sector Five early. Any later and Shinra might begin morning patrols making them stuck outside of the perimeter again. They don’t hit any roadblocks at least, save for a few hedgehog pies that hop out of their burrows. 

Zack throws in a little training, correcting his stances and showing him how to swing the sword in a way that fends off some of the fatigue. It’s all a nice distraction for a while, until Zack starts getting sloppy and distracted, making Cloud frustrated. They must be getting close. Closer to Aerith and whatever Zack left behind and what Cloud has yet to know about. The stress sits heavy in his throat and the longer they walk with nothing to fight the longer Cloud has time to think. Ping ponging back and forth between his Zack’s steadily growing anxiety and his own self doubt, he bites down hard on his lip as Zack keeps ever so slowly creating a mental distance between them.

Cloud’s never been one to provide any kind of comfort, mostly because he didn’t know how. All he knows is resting his chin to Zack’s chest, or tapping a finger on his wrist as they both bite back tears. Never really saying anything more than they need to.

He takes too long to mull it over—whether to reach out, or retract back in, but people are starting to become a lot more frequent, leaving no more time alone before they’re coming up on the enclave just before the sector.

“Where do we go?” Cloud asks, staying close as they weave through a small crowd. 

Sector Five’s shacks and storefronts are towering; a mix of haphazardly placed two-by -fours , protruding pipes tucked between staircases of stacked stone and shattered pavement. 

“There’s no other slums like this one..” Zack says, slowing down to take it in.

Cloud tilts his head back, looking up at the jagged frame of beams and wire that will eventually overtake the sky.“You can see the sun?”

“Plate collapsed when they were still building this part of Midgar. After they finished the reactor up there it’s been slow goin’ to continue.”

It made sense, once the mako started flowing the area had fulfilled the majority of its purpose. Finishing up the plate would just be to say they could. But the great city of Midgar had no interest in that sort of urban expansion, not without a profit.

The route to the church looks no different, just mountains and crushed rubble, and some cardboard and chocobo wire for any holes someone might’ve fallen through. It makes the church look like almost too much of a blessing. 

“What’s she doing here?” Cloud asks, squinting a bit from the unusually bright sunlight.

“Probably tending to the flowers.”

The closer they get to the door the more Zack starts to slow until he stops completely. Cloud can see his hands shaking, trembling beneath the leather of his gloves. He takes a few deep breaths while jumping in place and stretching.

“C’mon man, you got this! It’s just a girl—just a girl...” Zack trails off.

“You okay?” Cloud asks softly.

“I don’t know if I even deserve to be here.”

Cloud shifts a little uncomfortably, unsure again on what to say. It makes him frustrated again, making him sound peevish. “Let’s just get this over with.”

As soon as they enter the light of the church wanes, allowing the stained windows to spill an iridescent glimmer onto the splintered wood of the benches. Even the trains and highways overhead become faint, taken over with the calm rustle of the flower bed situated where the altar should be. 

“Can I help you with someth—“

Cloud stops, staring wide eyed at the girl in front of him. She has long brown hair twisted into a braid and green eyes that flick between him and Zack quizzically. All Cloud can sum it up to is soft and pretty, exactly how Zack once described her.

Zack is in a different kind stupor behind him. His mouth is opening and closing letting out only pathetic little gasps and the whimpered start of a few words. Had he known Zack would be reduced to this he might've made him rehearse outside first. 

“You’re Aerith, right?” Cloud says taking a step forward as he attempts to be the one to hold it together. Except she isn’t responding either, forcing Cloud to carry the conversation for the three of them. “Uh...hello?”

“You’re not—I mean...Sorry, I’m Aerith.” She finally says trotting forward to offer Cloud a handshake.

Cloud doesn’t take it. “Yeah, I know, I just asked. Anyway, Zack’s been looking for you—or meaning to.”

Aerith steps around him, trying to meet Zack’s gaze which he avoids quickly. “You could say hello you know.” She smiles, leaning in close. 

“He’s not normally this quiet.” Cloud responds quickly, “Actually, it’s usually more of a chore getting him to shut up.” 

Aerith laughs a little at that, taking Zack’s hands in her own. “Whatever it is you’re thinking, you’re wrong. I’m not mad.”

For a moment, all of Zack’s worries seem to melt away, the shaking and fidgeting stops and his jaw goes just a little slack before his lips pull back into an albeit uncertain smile. Cloud won’t say it but he hates how easy it is for her to comfort him. He’s never been one reach first, always listening but never able to meet him halfway, not like she did in a matter of minutes. Not that he was allowed to have a say, finding her is what Zack wanted, isn’t it?

Zack softens his shoulders, “I’m sorry it took me a while.”

“Was that so hard?” Aerith gives his fingers a squeeze before letting go, “It wasn’t so bad really, I was more worried than anything.” 

Zack nods, “Then I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Stop that.” Aerith huffs, turning to face Cloud again, her face is a mix of apology and warmth, making it damn hard to remain jealous of her, “And you must be Cloud.”

They’re interrupted as the church begins to tremor, silencing them all. Cloud and Aerith try to look through the holes in the roof, bobbing their heads from one side to another while keeping their bodies perfectly still. The quaking fades out until the air around them grows silent, only to startle them into bracing themselves immediately with the thundering of an explosion.

When it stops Cloud catches Aerith mid stumble, looking up at the dust cascading from the church rafters. “The hell was that?”

Zack’s already halfway to the door, “Dunno, but it didn’t sound good.” 

Outside the sky billows with smoke, tinted green and infused with mako. Cloud feels disoriented, ears ringing and nearly tripping over his own boots as they jog back for the slums. 

“Reactor must’ve blown again.” Zack says faintly.

“Again?” Cloud asks, looking to see Aerith trailing unsteadily behind him.

“Sector One was attacked a few weeks ago.” Aerith answers, finally grabbing onto Zack’s arm to lead the way.

“I was still…” Cloud furrows his brows.

“Out of it. Yeah.” Zack says awkwardly.

They’re stopped abruptly by a crowd and the screams of a few nearby women. Some of the people around them are covering their mouths, their bodies uncomfortably tense and rigid. 

“Aerith! Aerith!” A boy no older than ten runs up to her, grabbing her by the wrist. “You have to do something!”

Just behind him is a man crumpled on the dirt in a heap. He’s battered and bloody and the dust around him seems to be barely beginning to settle. Zack rushes to his side, quickly pulling out his materia. Cloud stays back, chewing on his bottom lip, looking at where the man’s bones are broken. He’s on his stomach, one of his arms back and tucked beneath him. His legs and torso are littered with cuts and bruises. A red bandana covering his forehead is stained darker on the left half of it, covering part of the browning blood that’s leaking down and into his eye. 

“What happened?” Aerith asks, allowing herself to be tugged forward.

The boy starts crying, “It’s Biggs. He...it was so _loud_.” 

“A cure won’t do much here.” Zack interjects, shaking his head. “Might just ease the pain as he goes.”

Aerith doesn’t seem to be listening. she coaxes Zack to move aside before brushing the backs of her fingers against Biggs’ cheek. “You just have to hold on a little longer, okay?” 

She instructs Zack to carry him to an orphanage on the other side of town. Cloud watches as Zack tries supporting the broken arm before it can dangle. Cloud is left to wait outside until Zack returns, blood smeared on his forearms and darkening the middle of his shirt. They both sit in the front step listening to the gossip of the townspeople walking by. Cloud can only imagine what it must’ve felt like—scrambling as the floor crumbles beneath you. 

Kids crowd around the door of the orphanage, some of them carrying weeds in place of flowers. They mutter prayers and well wishes, each setting them by the door only to scurry off and gather underneath and awning nearby. One of the kids does a re-enactment, making a crunching sound when he describes Biggs hitting the floor. It causes both of them to wince.

Eventually the doctor comes out to allow them in. Biggs is stable, his arm is elevated with a sling suspended from a rack rolled in next to him. He’s cleaned up but his eye is black and blue and there’s bandages taped to him all over. Only Aerith remains by his side, holding Biggs’ hand and telling him something the two of them can’t hear.

Cloud can see the faintest glow rising up from Aerith’s hands. The gold light wisps upward in tendrils and he can see some of the bruises slowly fading away. Cloud can’t help but step closer, peeking over her shoulder as the spell starts to fizzle out.

“He’ll be okay if he wants to be.” Aerith says with a small smile, making Cloud jump back a bit. She turns her head, putting one finger to her lips.

“How long do you think until he wakes?” He asks.

“Could be soon, could be never.” Aerith nods, “But we tried everything we could.”

Zack steps in behind Cloud, putting a hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t even noticed he’d been shaking, until the pressure caused him to go still. 

“We should get someone to let us know if he wakes up.” Cloud says quietly.

Aerith offers them a place to stay. Past a gap in what Cloud thought was the rear of the sector lays a cottage with flower beds and a pond that lets out into a stream. The contrast is so different that Cloud looks up to try and figure out where the transition from the rugged gravel of the slums and the lush gardens of Aerith’s home begins and ends. 

Aerith spins around when they get to the door, extending an arm to usher them inside, “Make yourselves at home.” 

Cloud hangs back, watching Zack’s shoulders tense up and his head duck down, glaring at his boots as if he’s ashamed of something. While Zack hesitates, Cloud thinks back to the brief moment in the church and how Aerith’s touch instantaneously settled whatever worry had welled up inside him. 

After a deep breath he reaches for Zack’s hand, leaning forward a bit to get his attention. “Zack? Everything okay?”

It’s a little surprising, what touch seems to do to him. Zack intertwines his fingers with Cloud’s, lips pulled back from that insecure glare into a small smile that makes Cloud’s cheeks annoyingly flush with color.

“Sorry, just needed a sec.” Zack mutters.

Cloud leads him past the threshold and into the dining room, all the while trying to ignore the blatantly wide grin from Aerith.

As soon as they get in an older woman hurries forward, stopping just short of them. “Oh, Aerith! I’m so glad you’re home I was getting worried.” 

“Mom, this is Cloud—you’ve already met Zack.” She smiles, “Cloud, this is my mother, Elmyra.”

Cloud nods, watching Elmyra chew discontentedly on her bottom lip.

“Well, if you two are staying for dinner it’s going to look like I’ll need all the help I can get.”

Aerith grins, turning to Zack, “Zack you mind helping out?”

Zack shakes his head, “Course not.”

“Great! I needed to deliver some flowers to the orphanage, for Miss Folia and Biggs. Cloud can help me with that.” She's already linking arms with Cloud before he can even think to pull away.

Cloud sighs, “Wouldn’t you want Zack t—“

“Nope!” 

Before he can protest again she’s already got him trying to find his footing as she drags him toward a bed of flowers. Once satisfied with their distance from the house, she hangs one of the baskets from Clouds half curled fingers.

“So Cloud, tell me about yourself.”

“Uh…huh?”

Aerith tilts her head, “You know, what you do, where you’re from, that kind of stuff. I didn’t get a chance to ask back at the church.”

“Oh, I’m from Nibelheim.”

She doesn’t respond, just listens, carefully arranging some daisies into the baskets for them both. 

“I met Zack in the military.” Cloud continues, “That’s it really.”

Aerith doesn’t look up, “Is it?” 

“Yeah, it is. Not very interesting, I know.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” She shrugs reassuringly, “Some people would do anything for a less interesting life.” 

Cloud furrows his brow, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing really. Just that some people might hear that and envy you.”

Cloud scoffs, bitterly shoving a foxtail between a few lilies. “Yeah, right.”

“But also, I don’t think your life is as uninteresting as it seems.”

Cloud looks at her then, watching as she stares intently at the petals of a yellow flower. He tries to find another in the baskets, but sees none, making him a little confused as there’s a whole patch full of them.

“You seem to like that one. You should add it in.” He says quickly.

“I should, shouldn’t I?” Aerith smiles, carefully tucking the stem into the strap of his harness. “Except this one, it’s for you.”

Cloud sighs, “Flowers aren’t really my thing.”

“Then give it to someone special.” Aerith winks. “It’s a bit too dark to deliver these now. Should we check up on Zack you think?”

Cloud nods, mindlessly keeping his hand near the flower on his chest.

“I meant you can give that to Zack.” Aerith smiles, “I won’t mind.”

Cloud looks down a little aggravated he was giving himself away, “Huh?

“It’s not like guys to like flowers. But I get the feeling you’re trying to tell him something, you just don’t know how.”

“It’s not like that.” Cloud corrects, “Besides, it’s not like you know.”

“You’re right, I am going off of nothing but a hunch. But I think whatever it is is worth a shot.” Aerith nods.

There’s no time to think it over. As soon as he walks in his face feels hot and he just wants the damn exchange to be over.

Aerith must’ve noticed him panicking because in the time between the flower patch and the door she’s got a hand of encouragement on his back. That and of course—she's giggling. 

“Just hand it to him.” She laughs, giving him a nudge.

“I know that!” Cloud growls through his teeth, his face glaring red again.

“Welcome back.” Zack smiles, turning and dropping a puddle of water from the sink. 

Helping out must’ve lifted his spirits, or provided distraction. Cloud can see he’s come back a little to himself, fumbling for a rag as the water runs down the side of the counter, making the puddle worse.

“Dinner’s done, Elmyra’s making up the bedroom upstairs.” Zack adds hastily.

Aerith smiles, tilting her head. “And you two were…?”

“Cordial.” Zack shrugs. 

“Good. By the way, Cloud has something for you.”

Cloud immediately steps backward, nearly tripping over one of the dining chairs to get away from him.

“Cloud…” Aerith groans.

“For me, huh?” Zack asks, coming in a little too close, which makes Cloud blush more, trying to hide it by keeping his eyes low. “So thoughtful.”

It makes him more anxious, which he combats by aggressively shoving the flower into Zack’s chest. “Whatever.”

Zack grunts a little on contact, looking down at the slightly beaten up petals. 

Cloud stands there cross armed, pouting and pretending to look anywhere but at Zack. But he’s taking too long to say much of anything, making it hard to fight back his urge to peek.

“Cloud, this is—“ Zack starts to say but his attention snaps to the door.

They’re interrupted by the distant sound of steps on the boardwalk outside of the house. It sounds like one set, or maybe more, but they’re already knocking before any of them have to prepare.

“Shit!” Aerith hisses, “You two, upstairs _now_.”

“Who is it?” Zack asks.

“Just trust me and go.” 

She’s pushing Zack up the stairwell as the visitor’s banging grows more urgent. Once Zack and Cloud are scrambling up Elmyra comes down to replace them. In the bedroom, they both crouch down propping open the door just a crack to let in the sound.

“Can I help you?” Aerith grouses.

“Good evening, Aerith.”

“Tseng?” Zack whispers, carefully leaning in closer.

The guests footsteps make contact with the floors of the dining room. 

“Tseng, Reno—and Rude? Was it really necessary to bring all three of you.” Aerith says.

“I’m sure you’re aware of the incident today. The reactor for this sector was destroyed, and from our findings, you may have made contact with one of the culprits.”

“So you paid a house call.” Aerith sighs.

“Orders from up top, Princess.” Reno hisses.

“Well, I stayed home today, just like you always tell me to, so you can go now.” 

“Not that easy.”

Zack is starting to push on the door, but Cloud is quick to stop him.

“Let me go.” Cloud whispers, “Tseng will recognize you.”

“But not you?” 

Cloud shakes his head, “He won’t remember an infantryman.”

Zack can’t disagree with that. Even if he had, Cloud has already nestled the Hardedge on his back and put a foot out of the door. He gives up sneaking to make his steps on the stairs known.

“You should go.” Cloud glares, nodding to direct Elmyra back upstairs.

Reno tilts his head, tapping a baton against his shoulder. “Who’s this guy?” 

“—My bodyguard. And a SOLDIER at that.” Aerith responds.

“Oh yeah, what class?” Reno sneers.

Cloud reaches for his sword handle, “First.”

Tseng is the one to refute it first. “You were stationed here by who?”

“Kunsel.” Cloud blurts out.

“Moved up the ranks and thinks he can suddenly do whatever he wants.” Reno shakes his head.

“Just tell us where the AVALANCHE operative is.” Rude interjects.

“You know I won’t do that.” Aerith glares. 

Tseng leaves out of the same door they came but Reno and Rude stray behind. Cloud can see Reno’s muscles contracting and relaxing, his bare chest expanding in anticipation.

“Don’t.” Cloud warns, stepping in front of Aerith.

Reno grins, nodding at the exit, “You’re right, not in the house, how ‘bout we take this outside?” 

Cloud’s not surprised by his speed but by the strength that meets him when he decides to follow. As soon as he rushes into the yard he’s met with an elbow to the sternum that knocks him sideways into the stream.

“Hey, watch the flowers!” Aerith scolds, bursting through the door herself.

They don’t hear her and Cloud is too busy trying to shake the wet hair out of his eyes, making him narrowly miss the electric tendrils of the baton flying past his cheek. A dodge turns into a counter, leaving him enough of an opening to ram Reno in the gut with the butt of his sword.

“A little help here, Partner?” Reno growls, clutching his middle.

As Rude adjusts his gloves, Reno coughs a bit to catch his breath. 

What Reno lacks in strength, Rude seems to recompense. It makes it difficult when evading a shock to then step out of the way of the flurry of punches that follow. The force of his fist is worse than its impact, creating black spots in his vision when they connect with his chin and temple. 

There’s only a half second where they all seem to cease, giving Cloud a moment to wipe the blood from his lip, and Reno and Rude to inspect the shallow cuts on their shoulders and chest. Realizing no ones taken any real damage they immediately rush at each other again.

“Enough already!” Aerith yells, sprinting between them. Her boots splash into the stream, stopping when she meets them in the middle. She pulls a collapsible staff out of her jacket pocket, and with a crackle and the smell of burning, an explosion of sparks sends all of the men flying. 

Cloud skids backward, knocking into an embankment, but he’s lucky enough to land on one of the flower beds.

“Sorry about that.” Aerith says, hastily extending a hand to help him. 

Cloud groans, feeling his whole body ache as he crawls back to his feet. 

Reno and Rude are less fortunate. They seem to have flown into each other and slammed into one of the higher ledges in the stream. Reno is knocked out, and Rude is struggling to carry his partner out of the water. They leave at an angle, avoiding Aerith’s glare as they drag their feet over the unevenly boarded trail toward the slums. 

“What do the Turks want with you?” Cloud hisses, doubling over at the pain in his ribs, that leaves him in a fit of gasps and coughs.

Aerith shakes her head, tugging him with an urgency and a face of concern. “That’s not important. We need to get to Biggs _now_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a bit longer, it took me a while to edit it since so much happens but also it's the longest chapter yet. As always, let me know what you think!


	6. Six

There’s something about falling that feels familiar. The way the ground caves beneath both their feet, first a vibration, then the loss of balance, and finally, body, strength, and consciousness go all at once.

Zack can see him—see Cloud floating so vividly, he’s holding him close, all of his muscles contracting in an attempt to keep their limbs from sprawling, the air rushes past their ears and 

much too quickly through their nose. It was impossible to breathe seconds before they were met with nothing but the crash of breaking wood and yellow. 

“Hello?”

_Yellow petals…_

“Zack?” Cloud snaps him out of it, both hands clamped sternly on his shoulder. “You okay?”

They’ve ended up in Sector Seven, sitting under an awning made of twisted up sheet metal and planks of plywood. The sun is particularly bright today, beaming onto the plate harsher than usual. Cloud has to shield his eyes to see Zack through the glare.

“I’m fine.” Zack says plainly.

They’ve been on the move since the night before to beat the Turks to someone named Barret. In a few sentences they got more information on the gun armed man than Tseng must’ve gotten in months. Biggs exhausted himself trying to fill them in, collapsing back into bed afterward losing his fight to keep upright. Aerith volunteered to stay behind after that.

He already misses her, even for such a brief moment she brought light for them to the towering slums, in how she welcomed them and even went so far as to get to know Cloud. Even while he could be a little prickly to her, he already seemed to be opening up. It was anyone’s guess how well he’d do it they got to stay longer. 

Going toe to toe with Shinra wasn’t a part of the plan. The goal was to make it to Sector Five and settle in. It was supposed to be a place they could build a real home for the first time in a while—their own shitty slice of the slums. They were going to take on jobs as mercenaries, any jobs no matter how big or small and make an honest living, right under their nose. 

What had he been thinking? 

Even if they came to Midgar with that intention, everything they’ve encountered up to now only seems to have led them to do the opposite. Maybe without knowing that’s why Zack brought them here—for answers. From the moment they set foot in the city, it wasn’t a matter of how long they could hide away but the amount of time before they could no longer stand the situation that bound them.

He needed to know why Cloud was getting the headaches and the nightmares, and why he couldn’t remember half of the crap that happened to them. Not that Zack’s helping—not that he wants to. Sometimes he thinks it could be better that one of them forgets.

The sight of Sector Seven doesn’t help, it’s muddy and low to the ground, wafting a slight rotten egg smell that seems a bit stronger than everywhere else they’d been. But in contrast, the people are livelier, nothing like Wall Market, but there’s a little girl playing with a dog and a couple dances outside of a row of chocobo stalls. It makes him jealous, wishing he could ask if being grounders was easy for them. 

“I’m sorry.” Zack says.

“For what?” Cloud tilts his head.

Zack rests his elbows on his knees, chewing on his chapped bottom lip. “It’s been a bit of a struggle to keep my promise.”

He wonders if Cloud ever heard him in the back of that truck bed, his eyes looked like they were full of a blue green mist looking straight through him. He said it again When they were laid out on the ground in the outskirts, behind some broken crates and stacked up Shinra storage capsules. He would pull Cloud into his chest, and say things in such an even tone, tired but still a little hopeful, not at all the way he feels now.

“The merc thing? Aren’t I supposed to help?” Cloud reassures him, “It’s not just _your_ promise, you know?”

Zack smiles at that. 

Cloud is the one to get them up and going again, probably because they still haven’t rested since leaving Aerith’s and he’s eager to finally find a place to lay down. He doesn’t show it, but the exhaustion still gets to him, in the way he slows down to stretch or anxiously bounces his leg. Zack hates that he feels the need to hide it, especially after hearing how he held his own in the fight with the Turks, even if Aerith had to be the one to end it.

Cloud jogs a little ahead, making Zack accidentally bump into a few shoulders when he slips through the occasional cluster of folks from the morning crowd. 

They break out into a circle of shops; a military surplus store, a materia shop and what looks like a run down factory. All of them seem to run pretty standard for Midgar slum except for the store that sells things that are a little more stolen than surplus. The shelves look barren even from the distance, and what’s there is either torn or covered in dirt and dust. Cloud stops running when he sees the familiar jacket and scarf of an infantryman's uniform.

He stares at it a long while, anxiously fidgeting until he can, with hesitant fingers, begin buttoning the jacket on the hanger. Staring with the collar he works his way down, careful not to miss any of the straps or snaps that go with the pockets and loops for bullet clips and holsters. When he’s done he drags his fingers down the length of it, taking a step back when he reaches the hem.

“I wonder if I would’ve been stationed here.” Cloud says, looking up from the jacket and at the other dirty military blues and blacks in front of him.

“Maybe, it wouldn’t have been unusual if this became one of your patrol rounds.” 

“It feels wrong,” Cloud admits, “But yesterday I lied to the Turks—to Aerith. I told them I was a SOLDIER.”

Zack steps in closer, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“Do you think I would’ve become one?” Cloud looks up at Zack then, leaning into his touch as his fingers slip to the middle of his back.

“You know if we’re basing it off of skill and like—grit and all that. I’d say you were one now.” Zack says with a small smile. 

He means it—mako aside they were both so far from what they were. Gone were the days Cloud would duck his head when spoken to. Gone was the boy curled up in the back of a Shinra truck, shaken up and pale from motion sickness. Gone was the boy hiding behind an infantry helmet. Whatever was left was just a result of his genetics. 

In every way, Zack thinks, gone they both were.

Peeling away from the shop they pick up on their route. The pathways snake and loop back in a muddy labyrinth with damp sticks and thistle, bringing them past a few houses only to spit them out to where they began. They must’ve passed the same rickety one windowed shack thrice before Zack stops them again, frustratedly stomping his boot. 

“For fucks sake!” He yells, throwing his hands on his hips, “This damn street has to let off somewhere!”

“Could you be any louder?”

Much to Cloud dismay it’s enough for someone to hear them. A woman and child point them in the right direction, toward a left turn between some wind damaged tents and a short plywood bridge that’s near collapse. Cloud shows a little bit of his timidness then, hesitating just a bit when they walk under the splintered structure held together with only thick twine. When they emerge Seventh Heaven sits just ahead, in all of its slummy glory. 

“Man, I’m beat.” Zack huffs, “We’ve been at it since last night, why don’t we take a rest, pick up on this tomorrow?”

They find an inn right across the street, just in time too. Cloud is shaking out his arms and tapping his leg again, indiscreetly trying to swallow a yawn that follows.

It feels like they’ve been starved of real quiet, the kind that marks the end of a long day. Both of them are ready to finally unzip their boots, peel away the armor and bracers, wash off the hours and lay down for some genuine sleep. Zack is more than happy to take the lead on it, slipping out of his pauldrons and turtleneck as soon as they get in, feeling the much needed release of the simple act of unbuckling his belts. With a satisfied hum he rolls and massages his shoulders, swinging his arms like a pendulum. 

Cloud knocks follows suit, albeit by clumsily kneeling with his torso draped over the edge of the bed. He’s angled just enough so that his head is flush with the pillow. 

Light pools around Cloud’s face at the tail end of golden hour, leaving a defined streak across his cheeks and some of his neck. It makes his blonde hair look warmly gilded, casting shadows where his bangs fall into his face. Some strands get caught in his lashes. Zack smiles at finally seeing him so peaceful. 

In order not to wake him, Zack slips quietly into the small bathroom, careful not to accidentally knock into anything. When he finally starts the shower the water only gets lukewarm but it’s refreshing enough to just let it run through his hair and down his back. His fingers run along his arms, lightly pressing on the still tender bruises from his fights in the colosseum. After so much the last few days he’s more than relieved to know that neither of them were injured.

The poor drainage in the apartment causes the water to pool at his feet making the rest of the shower a bit of a rush to the finish before it can overflow. He’s quick enough, but there aren’t any towels so he’s forced to use the same dirty turtleneck to dry off. He stays in nothing but his briefs, knowing he’ll have to wash and hang everything once the water drains out.

When he steps out of the bathroom, Cloud is awake again, peeking at him through a gap in between his bangs, resting his head on his forearms. 

“You should be sleeping.” Zack says plainly.

“I was.” Cloud responds, his voice muffled into the bend of his arm. “Wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine. We both needed some time to catch our breath.” 

Zack drapes his clothes on a nearby chair. He tries getting into bed but Cloud takes up the thin comforter which isn’t a problem, it’s the fact that he’s pinning another folded up blanket underneath him. He motions to Cloud, vaguely pointing at the blanket, and then back again. 

“Am I supposed to know what that means?” Cloud raises an eyebrow.

“The blanket.”

“Then maybe say that.” Cloud scoffs, pushing himself off the bed completely, “It’s my turn anyway.”

After Cloud showers they sit across from each other, trying not to drip too much where they’ll have to lay their heads.

“C’mon Spikes, tell me where it hurts.”

“It doesn’t.” Cloud shakes his head.

“Liar.” Zack says, poking his shoulder. “Turn around.”

For a liar he isn’t a good one, his back is littered with bruises, and tiny cuts from being knocked around Aerith’s garden. That, and Zack can only imagine his muscles are sore from a mix of the mental stress and overexertion. He lets his fingers trail down and around the blossoming yellows and purples of discoloration, then carefully rubs out a few knots in his back and shoulders. It takes a while, but after working one side Cloud stops trying to wriggle away from him, and his flinching and groans wind down.

“That’s better, isn’t it?” Zack says softly, rolling little circles into his neck with his thumbs. 

“Guess so.” Cloud hangs his head so Zack can reach a little further up and into the back of his head and hair. 

He’s never taken too much time to look but where his arms should’ve atrophied he’s filled in, lean and even stronger than before. His hips dip into defined lines and muscle, they ripple, contracting and relaxing with his touch. Zack starts mindlessly pushing on the points that flex them.

“Remember anything?” Zack asks.

Cloud leans forward a little more to rest his elbows on his knees. ”I wouldn’t call it that.”

“Gonna have to be more specific then.” 

“I thought about something after leaving Aerith, but I—“ Cloud shakes his head, “The hell is this so hard?”

“Well, ya gotta tell me now.” 

He says nothing, just picks his head up and faces the glow of light coming in from the window. 

There’s a pause when Cloud turns to look at him, over his shoulder, leaning close enough that his hair brushes the underside of Zack’s chin. He smells like soap and mint, a few damp flyaways from his spikes stick to his neck. 

He didn’t imagine it would be like this—leaned into each other in a dark apartment as the moonlight filters through the dirty curtains. Still, Cloud is pushing himself up, twisting around to reach with a hand to cup one side of Zack’s face, fingers splayed over his ear, gently tugging him into the half sealed part in his lips. 

Once when they were at sea, bobbing up and down in the waves just north of Junon, he’d thought about what it might be like to kiss him. He’d always summed it up as a feeling made from the string of conversations in his head. The made up way Cloud might protest having his boots put on for him, or being fed the same shit in a can for the sixth day in a row, or how he wished he could see the way the leaves in the forest dotted light around them and onto the ground. Just thoughts that pushed him to keep going, just so one day he could hear it—that even though it was just the idea of him, maybe one day when he woke up he’d wish for that closeness too.

It's fleeting, but when Cloud pulls away he can still feel the ghost of pressure tingling on his bottom lip.

He pulls Cloud down with him, settling them both into their familiar position with Cloud laid over his chest, happy for the clarity he brings. For a moment it doesn’t matter what Cloud knows or what he doesn’t, or if they’re better off trying to forget. There’s only the feeling of Cloud drifting off to sleep fast and the warmth of him tugging Zack to follow. There’s no promise, no job to do, even if it’s just for now, everything could wait them out until morning. 

* * *

Cloud rises before him. He’s in the corner by the sink, rotating a crank attached to a plastic barrel to spin their washed clothes by hand. 

“Coffee on the bedside.” Cloud says when Zack sits up.

“Where’d you get this?”

“Cabinet. Tastes like shit though.”

After one sip Zack agrees, pushing the metal coffee cup to the other end of the table.

“Where’d you get the spinner?”

“Got a lot of questions this morning.” Cloud says plainly.

Zack props himself up on his elbows, “How long have you been awake?”

Cloud huffs, glaring at him, “You get one more, choose wisely.” 

“You sleep okay?”

Cloud blushes then, wringing out a pair of pants and once satisfied hangs them on the curtain rod in the window. “Spinner came from the owner of the inn. Woke up maybe two hours ago. I slept fine.”

“Good to hear.” Zack smiles. 

They let their clothes dry, waiting until late in the afternoon. Their room is stuffy, but it’s better than being out in the heat. Plus, it’ll give them time to plan at least a little bit ahead.

Cloud suggests scoping out the bar first. Maybe this Barret person was a regular and simply frequenting the same place he was would draw less attention. Zack’s idea is a little more forward, suggesting they just ask around until they find him. 

In the end, Cloud’s plan wins out. 

It’ll be dark out in a few hours. They both get ready quickly, zipping up their boots and fastening their swords to their backs. On the way out Cloud thanks the old man who owns the inn. 

“What now?” Cloud asks.

“It’s your plan, Spikes. Lead on.”

“Right. Well, first we have to—“ Without finishing Cloud darts past him in a full sprint to a rising puff of dust just beginning to settle. It’s hard to keep up with the way he’s running, flying nearly, focused and in a panic, sliding across the gravel without a second thought. 

He’s crouching by the time Zack reaches him, carefully pulling another body into his arms. Zack wonders if this is just another standard, having people collapse in and around the slums. Cloud dotes on her tenderly, all the while muttering frantically and brushing loose strands from her forehead only to clumsily gather her up, balanced between his chest and forearms.

“It’s Tifa. She's breathing.” Cloud exhales.

There isn’t any need for him to say more. In order to get Cloud to move he has to put a hand to his back, hooking his fingers around his waist to give him a coaxing lift. The amount of caution in his movements that follow make him go slow, frustrating Zack enough that he wishes he could just take Tifa inside himself. 

They’re not two steps into the bar before they’re swarmed. 

“Tifa!” 

“The hell?!”

“Is she okay?!”

Cloud is writhing from the amount of people nudging him, chaotically prying his hands from around her. He lets out a low growl, stepping forward, desperate to follow. When Zack grabs his forearm he can feel him shaking. 

He lunges forward, only to be stopped by Zack’s grip, “Don’t touch her!”

Zack knows there will be no calming him, not with how tense he is and his face is flushed red. They don’t listen to his protests. Tifa is quickly lifted and hoisted into one of the bar’s many tables, where a girl with a bandana tied around her head starts investigating for wounds. 

She’s flanked by a guy who smells vaguely like cats when he passes, and the other who Zack concludes is Barret, wielding the notorious gun for an arm. 

They all creep in as Zack holds Cloud back, trying to show that he’s cautious enough for them both. 

“She’s gonna be fine.” The girl says in relief, “A little banged up, but nothing she can’t bounce back from.”

“Good. Now who the hell are these two?” Barret scowls, stepping in close.

Standing at about three heads taller, with a monstrous torso and arms almost as thick. Still, Zack holds fast, glaring up and curling his fingers around his sword’s handle. 

“We don’t want any trouble.” Zack interjects, “We found Tifa outside, we got her help, that’s that.”

“You know Tifa?”

“Old friend.” Cloud scowls.

The girl steps in between them both, giving them an unsure smile while she tries nudging them backward with a hand on both of their chests. “Well, I’ll be sure to tell her to thank you later. Wedge a little help here?”

Wedge shakes his head, opting to stay neutral behind the bar counter.

“What happened to her?” Cloud asks, persistent on not retreating any further.

“It’s a long story. I told her not to go to that place alone, but—“

“Jessie!” Barret bellows, glaring at all of them.

“I know where Biggs is.” Zack interrupts, taking a half step in front of Cloud when Barret draws in again.

Relaxing doesn't seem to be a part of Barrett's day to day. But he stops just short of him, still tense and making the click of his gun barrel a little too noticeable. 

It takes a longer than necessary stare down before he lets them settle into the bar. Cloud takes up the spot right next to Tifa who’s still laid out on the table. She breathes softly, occasionally rolling her head from one side to another, letting out a soft groan.

Barret sits at the bar, resting his elbows on his knees, leaning so far forward Zack is afraid the stool might snap beneath him. “Start talking.”

The bar becomes uncomfortably silent. Glasses clink together on a shaky tray where Wedge awkwardly passes out waters to all of them. Between the three, he can already tell Jessie is attentive and obviously the most friendly, with Wedge coming in a close second if he would simply stop averting his eyes. 

“Biggs needed to give you a message.” Zack says, keeping his gaze locked on Barret. “He’s okay. Took a hell of a fall though, but we got him patched up. Can’t say when he’ll be ready to head back just yet.”

All three of them turn to him, a mix of expressions equal parts hopeful and suspicious. 

“Where is he?” Barret asks.

“Sector Five slums.”

Instantly, Barret is already halfway to the door. “If he can’t get his ass home on his own, then I’ll go get him. Wedge c’mon let’s move.”

“We can’t let you do that.” Cloud says. 

“And why would I listen to you? Uniforms like that—makes y’all just a couple of Shinra’s dogs.” 

“Ex-dogs.” Zack says plainly.

With how big Barret is, Zack doesn’t expect him to move so quickly. Before he takes another breath, he’s grunting, knocked from his seat and shoved roughly into the wall. All he can think of after is the glow of the inside of the arm-cannon’s barrel, and the scent of gunpowder filling his nose.

“What the fuck did’ya do to him, huh?!” Barret growls.

“Nothing.” Zack coughs.

Jessie steps in, her eyes pleading as she half dangles on her toes trying to pull Barret’s forearm from Zack’s chest. 

“If he did anything you can shoot him later.” She hisses, “But if we want to know anything we have to hear what he’s gotta say.”

Somehow that’s just enough to work, he leaves Zack to fall to the floor, coughing up spit and gasping from the sudden ability to expand his lungs. 

“Better talk fast.”

“Turks—looking for you.” Zack wheezes, “Gotta lay low. They’re planning something, I don’t know what, but if you go there you’re a dead man.” 

Wedge helps Zack back into a seat at the table, “I know you don’t want to hear it, Barret. But maybe he’s right—why else would they come here to warn you if Biggs didn’t tell them? And if they’re telling the truth, don’t we kind of owe ‘em?”

Zack hunches over the wood of the table, resting his weight on his elbows and looking at Cloud. His hovering over Tifa remains constant, but he’s standing like a cat ready to spring. When Barret finally turns to leave, he gives a few bar stools a light kick, the force sends the whole row toppling to the floor. 

“Well, I’ll call that a win.” Jessie sighs, “I know everything is still a bit fresh, but if it’s any repayment, I’m sure I can pull a few strings to get you set up with Merle.”

“I’m not leaving Tifa.” Cloud snaps. 

“You won’t have to. I’ll stay with her nearby, she lives in Stargazer too.” Jessie assures him.

* * *

  
It’s well into dusk by now. The sunset spills a nasty glare on the metal of the plate, making it hard to see any of the fiery pinks and purples that lay on the horizon beyond it. 

Cloud insists on carrying Tifa, even if he’s trembling from the effort and the muddy ground is making his boots slip just slightly with every step. Zack hangs back in case he needs to catch the both of them. Luckily Stargazer Heights is just down the road, a two-story apartment building with a crumbling foundation held up by some smashed concrete and more wood.

Merle is nice at least, or maybe Jessie is just smooth tongued enough to get them into the vacant apartment next to Tifa’s, but regardless Zack is thankful. 

“I guess you two pretty boys get the place all to yourselves. Can’t say I’m not jealous.” Jessie jokes, trying to hide the fact that she’s struggling to get the key to turn. It takes a jostling of the knob and a shove until it swings open, the backside slamming into the sink.”I’ll be right next door. She's pretty exhausted, but fingers crossed she’s up by morning.”

“Do you know where she was?” Cloud asks again, his eyes pleading.

Jessie looks at her feet, “She ran off, to find out more about what someone else wants with Barret. Things are—complicated, but it sounds like there’s a lot of people looking for him.”

Cloud settles Tifa into her bed, letting Jessie help to remove her shoes and gloves. She’s only a little responsive, her eyes flutter open when she’s touched, looking like she’s ready to say something only to drift back off. 

“I don’t care how complicated it is.” Cloud says, giving Jessie a hard glare, “It’s your turn to start talking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I rewrote this chapter maybe five times. I couldn't decide if I wanted the kiss to happen at the end or in the middle lol Also you may have noticed I took off the chapter count. I keep messing with my outline to make the story flow better but it ended up making me add a few chapters. This story is actually supposed to end at the same point as the remake, and depending on how well it goes will have a sequel :) Anyway, any feedback or thoughts are much appreciated!


	7. Seven

It feels like nothing’s changed—Tifa stays at a distance. Since they were kids she’d be a fleeting presence, gliding past, trailed by the other village kids, more often than not just a view from Cloud’s bedroom window. 

For the first time since leaving Nibelheim for what he thought was for good, she’s here, and accessible and he’s still afraid of what she’ll think of him.

Frantically he fidgets, stretching his fingers and wrists, looking for every possible exit, from his own apartment door and over to the flight of stairs. He tries to think of what Zack would do and regrets it, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. He can almost feel him nudging him closer, trying to get him to just build up the courage. It can be annoying to know him so well.

He finally knocks twice then steps back as far as the narrow hall will let him. The heel of his boot hits the metal lip of the walkway when she opens the door.

Inside, the light flickers until it goes steady and he can count about ten steps until she’s unlatches the door, leaving just enough space to pop her head out.

“Um, hi.” He waves awkwardly, inwardly berating himself after.

“Cloud?” She smiles a little and opens the door wider, stepping aside to give him room. “Come in, can I get you anything?”

“No, I’m okay.”

Cloud stays in the only vacant sliver of the apartment, looking around to see her bed is still a mess and there’s a collapsible cot for Jessie that takes up most of the floor. 

“How are you?” He asks, leaning back against the wall. 

“After this long? I guess I could say I’ve been better.”

He can’t help but think how much older they are now. Even from where he stands he can tell he’s now just a few inches taller than her. Silence hangs between them while Cloud tries to figure out what to say next. 

She beats him to it. “So, how’s SOLDIER treating you?”

“I—It’s okay.” Cloud rubs the back of his neck.

He hides his face, turning down to look at the zippers of his boots. Luckily the lamp behind her flickers again, causing her to turn away to wiggle the bulb.

“What brings you here anyway?”

“Jessie. I mean, Biggs too, but—“

“Jessie and Biggs?” Tifa shakes her head, “ I should’ve known something was up, she was acting really weird before she left and—”

Small talk had never been his favorite—or any talking for that matter. He finds himself running a hand mindlessly along his middle as she continues, picking at a part of his shirt that’s started pilling at the edges.

“What happened in Wall Market?” Cloud interrupts her.

The quiet crawls in again. When she closes her eyes, Cloud looks away as though giving her a moment alone to compose herself. 

“They told you about that?”

“I found you outside of Seventh Heaven.” Cloud sighs and sits down on the far edge of the bed, turned to face away from her. “Jessie said I should hear it from you.”

Cloud can hear a shuffle and thump as she props herself up against the headboard.

“Right, um, I went to see Don Corneo.” Tifa inhales sharply, “Some of his men came here looking for a friend of ours—so I thought maybe if I did this I could get him alone and get some information. I heard he was doing some kind of audition, so I pulled some strings and got in.” 

Cloud drags his hands down his face, “You were gone a week?”

“Give or take.” 

“You’re sure you’re okay?”

“Mostly.” Tifa says softly.

How long had it been from the moment they saw the fireworks on the way to Sector Five to now? Cloud had wondered then what they’d been celebrating, now the thought of it makes him sick to his stomach. 

He takes a few minutes attempting to even out his own his breathing, clenching and relaxing his fists, feeling the sting of the indents on his palms from his fingernails. 

“After a few days I learned their routine. He’d normally go to the Colosseum to oversee the fights there, put some money in and come back. I thought that might be my chance since security was light. It didn’t work. But the other night I got lucky, two of the guys went missing, so I took my chance and made it back.” Tifa continues.

“He hurt you?” Cloud turns around.

Tifa shakes her head, “He tried, but I can put up a pretty good fight if I need to.” 

She almost says it in a way that makes him believe her. But she curls into herself, hiding her trembling hands behind knees that are pulled up into her chest. 

From the first day, she’d been there, sitting in a mansion, while he was only a few hundred yards away, just out of reach. He swallows hard, trying to shove down everything he didn’t know. Doubling over takes another pause before rising to his feet and quickly turns to Tifa, eyes misty and burning. He steps forward trying not to pull away when he reaches out to slowly draw her in, coaxing her forehead into his chest. 

Without any protest she collapses into him with a quiet crying that comes in waves, rolling into a broken sob as she sucks in too much air. There’s a tug on his turtleneck when she grabs two fist fulls of the fabric, tugging him down so her hair brushes against his chin. 

“I’m sorry.” Tifa coughs, trying to catch her breath, “I’m such a mess.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Cloud says quietly.

“It’s been so long, you shouldn’t have to worry.” Tifa pulls away immediately, wiping her face quickly but allowing Cloud to keep his hands on her forearms.

Cloud gives Tifa’s arms a squeeze, “It’s too late for that. I should’ve been there.” 

“That’s okay, I—“ Tifa begins, but sees his eyes pleading. “You didn’t know.”

He leaves her only after she’s mostly settled into bed, a glass of water at her side and knowledge that if she needs anything else he’s one door over. 

Back inside their apartment Zack makes it easier to shake off some of the worry. He’s hanging off the mattress, one leg dangling off the side so that his knee hovers just above the floor. A slick trail of drool leads up to his mouth, his cheek rests on his bicep, arms folded somewhat neatly beneath him. 

He’d be lying if he said there wasn’t some charm in his disarray. Even in his sleep he’s open—honest. There isn’t an ounce of shyness or regret, not in the way he sprawls, or softly snores. No shame in the way the blankets drape over the leg that's managed to stay on the bed, pulled up only to his thigh, exposing his back.

Slowly, he reaches to drag his fingers from the middle of Zack’s shoulder blades down this spine. He scrunches his nose when he stirs and lets out a little hum.

“Hey.”

“Cloudy-Sky.” Zack mumbles through a yawn, “How’d it go?”

“Okay.” Cloud sighs, falling back to sit on the floor. He kicks his legs out under the bed, leaning his arms onto the edge of the mattress so he can rest his chin on the back of his hands. 

“She hurt?”

“I’m not sure.” Cloud bites his lip.

“Hm, hiding it?” Zack asks.

“Yeah.” Cloud sighs.

“Sounds like someone else I know.” Zack ruffles his hair, smiling softly as the blonde spikes simply settle back into their usual position.

In the dark, there’s a comforting glow in his eyes that borders his pupils and seeps into a blue that reminds Cloud of the sky. He wonders if his own have the same effect.

Quietly, in an attempt not to ruffle the sheets underneath him, he stretches forward, lifting a hand to tilt Zack’s chin toward him. When he closes his eyes again Cloud is thankful, hesitant as the distance closes to kiss him.

Zack hums contentedly, lashes fluttering open, rolling over to create some space next to him. 

Drifting off won’t come again. Cloud rolls over to face the wall, keeping his eyes shut tight as Zack breathes into the nape of his neck, sliding one arm over his waist. Cloud mindlessly plays with Zack’s fingers, lacing and unlacing them together with his own until the sun peeks through the curtain. 

In the morning, he tries to rub out the dark spots under his eyes before they leave. Or before Zack notices—whichever comes first. But his exhaustion is stubborn, clinging to him like a wet shirt, making his arms feel stiff and heavy. 

Shuffling can be heard behind him, the tossed sheets and the creak of the bed giving away that Zack was finally up and awake. Cloud quickly turns on the shower and flips the latch to lock the bathroom door. 

It’s frustrating to him how difficult it is to hide his weaknesses. Zack’s too kind to say anything, but Cloud could see how he’d turn every so often, slowing down to let him catch his breath or stopping to stretch legs that he is certain are never as fatigued as his. 

The bed frame squeaks again in the other room, the springs even crackle a bit from the sinking weight on the lump filled mattress. 

Cloud kicks off his pants and shirt and turns the shower to cold, positioning himself directly under the weak stream of water.

They’re outside in an hour and the sector is just as muddy as the day before, glistening into a slippery brown road with some straw scattered in to create traction. Makes him wonder where all the water comes from if rain hardly leaks through the plate. As they walk he follows the trail of a drainage pipe that snakes past the bar and through a few shacks, seeming to let off into a sewage ravine.

Once, before he left home he’d wander the outskirts of town, trying to find all of the metal hatches that led down into the tunnels for the reactors. He’d follow them backward and past the mansion, all the way to the base of the planked bridge that would bring him to Mt. Nibel. At the edge big hoses protruded from the cliff face, going in and out of the rock bed, siphoning mako.

Seventh Heaven, he realizes looks a bit like that too. The paneling on the exterior has a similar look to the cottages, until he gets to the brick walls and industrial metal vents and railing. It makes his head hurt the tiniest bit.

Cloud catches Zack checking on him again, leaning a little forward as though he’s trying to make sense of what he’s thinking. He gives a nod and a half smile, leading the way to the door.

* * *

Barret is neck deep in a rant about the planet’s lifeblood when Cloud feels Zack brushing his little finger against his own from under the table. It’s only a little distracting until Zack reaches all the way over, holding his hand as he tries to listen.

Giving up, he turns to a newspaper in front of him. It was strange seeing the headlines. Back then, Cloud only knew what he’d found strewn across a few tables at headquarters years ago. The most important articles were always facing upward, open and dishonest; successful skirmishes with Wutai, or an agreement between Shinra and some new partners that would be absorbed into the company sooner or later. It makes him wonder exactly how many pages the others would rip out to erase the guilt.

_Second Reactor Destroyed By Terrorist group AVALANCHE_

He runs a gloved finger along a water stain that highlights the details of the now gutted fifth reactor. He remembers the melted hole digging down exposing the slums below. He flinches when he thinks of how long it must’ve taken to land after Bugg’s toppled through, three hundred meters to the bottom. 

The first reactor had been the same, only larger, having lit the upper plate in flames. Cloud wonders what Shinra would do if they knew their biggest threat hid in a basement.

“You hear me, Soldier Boy?” Barret narrows his eyes at them both.

“We’re just here to help you clean up your mess.” Zack shrugs. “Once we figure out what the Turks want with you, we’ll be on our way.”

“I don’t need a bodyguard. Especially not one from Shinra.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, man?” Zack sighs, “We’re done with that.”

They’re interrupted by a jingle that sounds a bit like a more fucked up, haunted version of the chocobo song Cloud heard a bunch as a kid. Cloud’s looks up at the elevator when it jerks out of place, and the cables and pulleys shift it downward with the whirring noise of a generator. 

It locks into place with a jolt, rattling the dust that hangs in between all of them. Tifa steps off the platform, keeping her head ducked down as she sits on the far end of the table. 

“We ain’t done here until everyone’s story makes some goddamn sense.” Barret growls.

Zack is forced to give his recollection again. He’s careful only to talk about Biggs, leaving out almost anything to do with Aerith. Cloud drowns out the details, leaning forward until he can see Tifa just beyond him. 

She’s got her arms folded, keeping herself in a tight hug similar to the night before. The way she looks at the far wall isn’t unlike the dust of the elevator, displaced and suspended—trying to float away from here. Jessie rests a hand on her back, slowly running it up and down until Tifa relaxes her shoulders.

“You go in for Biggs, you’re gonna cause more trouble than you already have.” Zack finishes.

“If he doesn’t turn up, you’ll be in a world of hurt. I can promise you that.”

“Wasn’t doubting it.” Zack huffs.

Silence creeps in again, the only noise is Barret’s pacing that thumps and against the floor. Cloud scans the room between the six of them. Jessie looks at her hands while Wedge bites his lip, Zack glares at a cup fo coffee in front of him.

“Tifa.” Barret says, talking to her in a tone that’s cautious, if not unexpectedly gentle. 

As she goes over it again Cloud watches her, the way her voice stays just a little above a whisper, hands running up and down her arms. When she stammers, Jessie holds her hand and Wedge gives her his glass of water.

Hearing her relive her escape again brings him back to the fight in the expressway. Cloud takes a few minutes to even out his own breathing, pulling away from Zack’s hand to clench and unclench his fists until he gives up trying to control how much they shake. 

“The good news is, if you got away and they find out, they aren’t gonna trust Corneo. And the reactor that you all blew makes a pretty good distraction.” Zack cuts in, “They’ll probably be busy between the two of them until they run out of leads and head this way next.” 

Barret looks at him then, “How long do you think that’ll take?”

“They’re the Turks. Not long—maybe a few days.”

“They already know We’re in Sector Seven.” Wedge sighs, “Why wouldn’t they just come here?”

“Storming the slum isn’t good for public opinion. They need something to justify it.”

Zack says.

“Besides, if they said it was a few grounders who’s gonna believe them?” Jessie shrugs.

The conversation is going too quickly, the more they bounce off of each other, the harder it gets for him to follow. Eventually he hears nothing but a low roar, keeping his head low, gaze locked on the floor between his knees.

Before long Barret looks at a clock on the far wall then lets out a heavy sigh. “Bar’s openin’ soon. Let’s get a few patrols goin’. Wedge, you got first watch of town and the scrap, take the spikey one with you. Jessie and Soldier Boy will watch the gates, you’ll all switch in a few hours.”

“Works for me.” Zack shrugs, 

They go up the elevator in twos. Cloud can feel Zack give his shirt a tug, making him hang back until they’re the last ones in the basement. 

“How are you feeling?” Zack asks, reaching up to run his thumb along Cloud’s cheek. 

Cloud shakes his head. “Just give me a minute.”

“Yeah okay, just take a breath.” 

His eyes are pleading, like he can feel the heaviness in Cloud’s limbs and the way his eyes tiredly dart behind him and up the elevator shaft.

Cloud brings his hands up to his ears and presses down hard until the whirring of the elevator’s generator is muffled and replaced slowly by the familiar static. He tries to breathe through it, trembling as Zack places his hands over his own, murmuring something and trying to steady him. But it’s much too warm, and the basement is so damn stuffy the dust makes him cough. He starts getting dizzy as the headache sets in. 

“One breath.” Zack murmurs.

His inhale turns to smoke tearing at his lungs and heat that’s too close. Instantly he thinks of Nibelheim, where he remembers not being able to make out the burnt bodies strewn across the ground. The inn in the center of town was just a pile of wood, rafters all caved in, expelling sparks and ashes. A butcher shop and a market were reduced to a pile of splinters and crumbling foundation, a rope and one remaining scorched apple core. 

On the way to Mt. Nibel the bridge swayed beneath him, with smoke and cinders painting the sky in an orange-red plume. 

_What happened? Tell me._

Static crackles and he’s tugged forward, one step after another, tripping when one of the grated stairs in the reactor clips the toe of his boot. Both of his hands grip the buster sword in front of him. When he gets to the mouth of the chamber it gives way to more walkway, a series of endless turns making him break out into a run. When he finally reaches the end neither Tifa or Zack are anywhere to be found.

_Late again, aren’t you?_

He can feel someone wrapping their arms around his shoulders, pulling him in close. It’s constricting, making it harder to suck in air. He starts to feel twice as heavy, his chest struggling to expand, his vision starts blurring black around the edges.

The pain ripples up through his temple and into the back of his head, he’s pushing as Zack tries to pull him back in.

“Stay with me, Cloudy-Sky.” Zack murmurs.

_You’re running out of time, Cloud._

“Shut up!”

Zack grunts when he’s shoved into the wall, knocking down a few papers pinned to the bulletin board behind him. 

Cloud’s only vaguely aware of how far apart they are, staring down at blasting agent ingredients, mission plans, and an unfurled map of Midgar strewn across the floor between them. He hurriedly picks up the documents first, haphazardly tossing them on the table before helping up Zack who's staring up at him from the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cloud is struggling. Sometimes I feel bad that he's getting the bulk of Sephiroth's mind games, but there's a reason. Next chapter Zack gets to spend some quality time with AVALANCHE. Thank you so much for you kind comments so far! I love reading and responding to them it really makes my day. 
> 
> Also, if you ever wanna see me scream about writing, or posting the occasional fanart you can follow me on twitter at the same username :)


	8. Eight

Up the elevator and through the bar Zack can’t stop seeing it. For a moment Cloud reverted into something not himself—back to thin and helpless, back to hanging on by a rope that was quickly unfurling above him. Green slit eyes and an expression begging for help.

They part ways when the pinball machine clicks into place. Wedge motions for Cloud, pointing to a table with a map splayed out waiting for them. Zack takes his chance as Cloud turns in the other direction. 

“Hey man, can you do me a favor? Can you keep an eye on him?” Zack mutters.

Wedge gives him a confused stare looking from Zack to Cloud and back again. “Uh, Yeah, bro. You got it.”

There’s absolutely no reason for Wedge to keep that promise, but as Zack walks out of the doors of Seventh Heaven he’s praying to whatever god will listen that he will.

His shoulder’s still stiff from the impact with the wall. It’s painless, but when he moves it feels like he needs Cloud to shove him one more time just to get the damn thing back into place. 

They spent a good part of the morning in the hideout, letting it drag them straight into the afternoon. The wall around Midgar spills a nasty glare into the slums. As he and Jessie start their patrol he Zack brushes off the dull headache it causes. Using his hand as a visor he watches Jessie scramble over a chain link fence, the metal of her armor clanking as she lands, stirring up a plume of dirt around her.

“Not super graceful, but I get by.” She says to herself, dusting off. 

He’d looked forward to having Jessie as his patrol partner and picking her brain about the enigma that was Barret and the rest of the AVALANCHE members. That and maybe spending time with someone who could match his energy would be refreshing. 

But instead, a fuzziness only his vision sets in. It’s distracting enough that when he vaults over the fence and steps in toe with her he doesn’t even bother with trying. Thankfully, she’s willing to take the lead.

“This will give us a crystal clear view of the back alleys and the gate.” Jessie nods, “There’s a trade-off though, some Shinra troops like to stand watch on this side.”

“What’s that mean for us?” Zack asks.

“Nothing really. I already wooed them with my charm and good looks.” Jessie shrugs.

He’s lucky, the further along their route they go the easier it gets to hold a conversation. She carries every topic from food to her actually okay taste in music. Apparently jazz and blues is a classy and acquired taste and something they’re both willing to get everyone into as soon as they get a chance.

The tension in his shoulder starts to fade the more he’s able to ignore it, except that he’s rotating it mindlessly every few minutes, so much so that she seems to notice.

Every path in the sector seems to wind into something narrower. To get to the next section of the gate they have to slip between some storage containers sideways. Zack frowns a little when a jagged edge snags his shirt, tearing a whole through the middle.

“Are you okay?” Jessie asks, watching him look down pensively at the ripped up fabric. “You seem—down? I mean, I don’t know you that well but even I can tell something’s up.”

He tries to shake it off, slapping his cheeks with the tips of his fingers. But as he runs a gloved finger along the tear in his turtleneck, the thought of the basement lingers like a bad taste in his mouth. “Do you know anything about mako poisoning?” 

“I—not really, just that it can be pretty bad. I know people don’t wake up.” She goes somewhere far away then, more quiet in that moment than she had been in the couple days he’d known her.

“Sometimes they do.” 

“What do you mean?” Jessie asks, her face flashing a curious glare.

Despite knowing that he shouldn’t be so trusting, the effort of holding it in begins to boil over. It’s difficult not to start from the beginning, not to just lay out the last five years in front of her like a freshly caught fish, panicked and floundering.

He manages to come up with some bullshit story about an old friend of his being a mako junkie. Not completely false, he knew a bunch of SOLDIER candidates who made it a habit, even more common in the ones who made third class. Enhancements gave everyone an edge after all, and responses to mako treatments sometimes varied. And for R&D that probably just meant more data to study and more subjects to poke and prod at.

Still, it’s nothing close to what he wishes he could tell her, that he watched Cloud drift away from him, submerged in a tank of the stuff only to leave him behind after a week.

“What’s it like when they do? When they wake up I mean.” Jessie asks.

The question knocks him a little off balance, making him sway as he tries to think of the feeling. “Kind of like coming home.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’d imagine.” Jessie smiles to herself. “I’ll try to remember that.”

She takes him along the gate where they have to crouch a little to keep behind some sheet metal. Troops stand on a catwalk above them, overlooking the outside.

“Any idea what exactly we’re looking for out here?” Jessie whispers.

“Corneo’s men, Turks.” Zack says, squeezing through a gap that takes them back into the edge of the slums.

“Sorry, was a little preoccupied during the meeting, with Tifa and all…”

Zack shakes his head, “No, I get it.”

“I gotta ask though, what’s Cloud to her? An ex or something?”

“Pretty sure they’re just friends.” Zack answers. “Grew up together if I remember right.”

“She never talks about home. So I just didn’t expect anyone to turn up like that.” 

“Yeah, I guess I wouldn’t expect it either.”

Now that he thinks of it, Cloud hardly brings up Nibelheim. Though, he can’t imagine why he would, no one wants to talk about a mess of flames and the things that happened over that bridge at Mt. Nibel. Not even him. 

Back then, he used to wonder why Cloud shied away from his hometown. The village was quiet and small, a place where everyone probably knew everyone, not too unlike Gongaga. Where he grew up people helped each other, through thick and thin, even after the reactor blew, taking the town’s importance in the eyes of Shinra, and the lives of their workers along with it. 

Nibelheim was the same, bustling with farmers and craftsmen, a place where a neighbor could direct you to his carpenter friend and word of mouth was all that was needed to believe them. 

When they arrived that first day Cloud hid beneath his helmet, only speaking when spoken to but otherwise remaining silent. He looked like a timid stray cat, keeping to himself in the corner, trying to hold everyone at a far enough distance from where he truly was. 

Jessie slides her foot against the gravel, drawing his attention to a smiley face she’s marked with the ball of her foot. “What about you two?” 

“What about us?” Zack asks, tilting his head.

“You and Cloud seem pretty—close.” She shrugs.

“It’s complicated.” Zack sighs, “I guess we’re friends.”

“Just friends, huh?” Jessie says, mindlessly adding worried eyebrows to her gravel-drawing.

Zack groans.

“Don’t think I didn’t see you holding hands under that table and other than Tifa, it’s not like he talks to anyone else.” Jessie nudges him, her hands flying up to her hips as she admires her work, “Spill.”

“Why? So you can hold it against me later?” Zack asks.

“No, dummy. What do I have to gain by knowing the two hot new guys in town are into  _ each other? _ I just think it’s cute is all.”

“So, you’re jealous?” Zack smiles a little.

“No! I mean–shut it.” Jessie laughs. 

“Called it.”

“You’re avoiding the question!” 

“Sure am.” Zack nods, “That’s classified information.”

“Thought we were supposed to be friends.” Jessie huffs.

Zack laughs in return then steps forward to add a tongue to the ever evolving artwork, “We are.”

“I’ll take it, can’t wait to tell everyone I made friends with the new guy first!” Jessie says, happily bouncing on the balls of her feet. With a swipe over the dirt she erases one of the eyes and replaces it with a wink to match her own. “ _ Sike _ .”

“You tell them, you’re dead.” Zack shrugs.

“ _ Sooo _ scary.” Jessie rolls her eyes.

“Really?” Zack tilts his head.

“No, dummy.” Jessie laughs. When they come up to the end of their route she jogs ahead, twirling around to face him. “We’ve got some time. Want the grand tour?”

He doesn’t get a choice, she takes him through the crowded masses of jerry built houses. Through every passage there’s a shop or merchant, each more lively than the next. He doesn’t remember this from the first day, how full of color Sector Seven is. 

A man laying on a torn up carpet blasts music from a radio made of upcycled scrap. The springs stick out of the sides and the antenna is bent but the fast paced sound gives them a combination of rock and electronic that blows clearly through. Children rush past chasing after each other with cardboard swords painted with swirling fire and dragons. As they pass through a small tunnel their laughs echo through the ceiling above them.

“I love it here.” Jessie smiles, lacing her fingers behind her back, “It’s nothing like top side.”

“Top side’s not so bad.” Zack says.

“Overworked Shinra employees, and lonely kids? Think I’ll pass.” She sighs, “At least the people down here have character.” 

She brings him to a duplex, two houses connected by a shed that looks like it was shoved between them as an afterthought. 

“This is my place.” Jessie says, stopping a few yards away from the door. “You should come over sometime. I can make a mean pizza. It’s even Gold Saucer certified.”

“Is it really?” Zack asks.

“No, but I swiped the recipe from them anyway.” She shrugs. “Best pizza this side of Midgar.”

She’s good at this. With just a few conversations and half a day of walking she manages to keep the two of them feeling light. It reminds him of Aerith, though less graceful and the slightest bit more rugged. Zack shakes his head when he thinks about what she’d say to that.

These people are nothing like the AVALANCHE he remembers. They’re not as crazed, not desperate for the satisfaction of wreaking havoc for the sake of the planet. No matter how long he looks at her, Wedge or Biggs, he can’t imagine the three of them being responsible for the destruction of the reactors. Not in the way she smiles, playful but still uncertain, or the way Biggs trusted them with ease. 

“Why AVALANCHE?” Zack asks suddenly, cocking a hip with his arms over his chest.

“You really are down today, huh?” Jessie says, her smile faltering the tiniest bit. 

She doesn’t answer him, instead she grabs him by the strap of his harness, giving him a tug until he lurches forward with no choice but to follow her. They go back through the scrap, past shipping containers and the catwalk. 

The process of returning somewhere you’ve already been always feels faster than the first time you arrive. As Zack followers her, time seems to grow sluggish only to speed up again when they reach the outside of the familiar bar. Jessie lets go of him just outside of the doorway, then gives him a nudge to push him through.

“You need answers about AVALANCHE, right? Then you’ll have to talk to Barret.”

Zack turns around immediately. “Not a chance.” 

“Hey. If I’m not so bad, you gotta give the rest of us a chance too, right?” 

“Yeah, you, Biggs and Wedge. I’m trying to like the guy but it’s a little hard when every time we see eachother his first instinct is to strangle me.”

“He’s just cautious. I’m sure he wouldn’t actually hurt you.” Jessie puts her hands on her hips.

“Has a hell of a way of showing it.”

“Just go.” 

With a heavy sigh he makes his way to the pinball machine.

“It’s broken.” Tifa tells him, sliding three glasses of beer across the bar top and following them all the way down until they reach their buyers. She skips over, laying a hand on his shoulder, leaning in just a little to whisper, “It’s business hours, remember?”

He’s surprised she bothered telling him, especially since she hadn’t said a word to him since Cloud found her. She sounds the same as she did back then, calm and to the point. 

Zack rubs his face, “Right, you know where I can find Barret by any chance?”

“He’s usually in the back, upstairs.” Tifa says, stepping away from him. 

“Got it. Hey, Tifa—“

“I should really get back.” She says quickly.

Probably only wants to talk to Cloud. Zack thinks, promising himself to bring that up later. 

The hallway in the back is short but narrow, making him wonder how the hell the AVALANCHE leader fits through in the first place. At the end are two closed doors, one Zack assumes is Barret’s quarters and the other he guesses might be a closet or a bathroom. 

Despite his intentions he would almost rather pick door number two.

But, as usual he’s not given much of a choice. The one he hoped was just a broom closet flies open, spitting out a little girl that sprints down the hall and directly into his thigh. 

“Oop!” Zack smiles sheepishly, quickly putting a hand on her back to steady her. “‘Scuse me.”

She’s dazed, looking up at him wide eyed with her mouth half open. “Who are you?”

It’s then that he realizes how massive he must look, if the hallway was small, then there’s a good chance if he’s taking up this space he must look even larger. 

Zack quickly kneels down, still more than a foot above her eye level, “My name’s Zack, what’s yours?” 

“Daddy!” She calls out, taking a few steps backward.

“Daddy? No, that’s not—”

Instantly her tiny frame is replaced with the leather of heavy duty boots. As Zack trails his gaze upward, it gradually goes from a pair of durable green pants to a series of belts and bullet holsters.

“The hell are you doing back here, Soldier Boy?” Barret growls.

“Shit.” Zack mutters, debating it was better to stay in his crouched position on the floor. 

“You came back here, scarin’ my Marlene, so you better speak up.”

“I was looking for you.” Zack answers, glaring up at him, “Just wanted to talk.”

“Get up off the floor.” Barret huffs, gently nudging Marlene past him. “Can you go find Tifa in the bar for me?” 

She skips by him and down the hall. When the door to the bar squeaks shut Barret turns around, expecting him to follow. “Better be good.”

At the end of the hall the door leads into a small apartment. 

Inside, it looks exactly the way he expects; modest, a large bed and a kitchenette, couch in the corner, only a little larger than the one they have over at Stargazer.

Barret nods at the couch, watching as Zack sinks slowly into the cushion. “This about your boyfriend or Tifa?” Barret asks.

“Neither, actually.” Zack sighs.

“Well I know you didn’t come just for quality time.” Barret scoffs.

Zack leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What is this all about?” 

“You miss that whole meeting today?” Barret asks. “This planet is the only we got.”

“No, I know—I just…”

“What? You think I got these kids to join me by selling somethin’ else? Everyone’s got a reason, Soldier Boy.”

“What’s yours?”

“You see that little girl in the hall?” Barret nods at the door, “Only reason I need to fight for it.”

Zack looks at his hands, “What about everyone else?”

“They’re looking for something, just like you and me. Whether it’s answers, to protect someone they love, or just a place to belong, hell if I know, but whatever it is I’m trying my damn best to give it to them.”

Zack nods, picking at a bit of dirt under his nails, “Makes sense.”

“The hell is wrong with you, anyway? Where’s that fire you been givin’ me all this time?” Barret nudges his shoulder with a fist.

“Sorry.”

“Well, get your head out of your ass.” Barret adds, settling in next to him.

“Sorry.”

“And stop apologizin’.”

Zack rubs his face, leaning further back into the couch cushion that lets out of a puff of air as he sinks. Luckily, Barret lets them take a pause.

“Guess I’m sorry too.” Barret adds, “I get protective when it comes to my own. Didn’t mean to be a jackass.”

“No.” Zack shakes his head, “I’d do the same thing.”

“Don’t seem the type. You trusted Biggs right away.”

”He mentioned the Turks. Having a problem with them is something we have in common.”

Barret scoffs.

“But you make sense, all of these people need something to fight for, and I guess at the end of the day, that means the planet too.”

“Glad I could get through to you.” Barret hums, “But the hell was this for? I’m not a therapist, and sure as hell not your daddy.”

“Just needed a reminder.”

“Of what? Why you’re doin’ all this?”

Zack nods, “Just seems impossible sometimes.”

“Then, think about it, what’s gonna get that fire goin’ again? What makes it possible?”

As Zack thinks he runs a hand along his temple, following the trail of a twinge of pain and dizziness. “It’s just like you said _ — _ there’s someone I love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little later than I wanted, especially considered it's kind of character development and filler. I've been a little stressed lately so writing Zack also being stressed was..weird lol But! I should be back to posting chapters every 10 days or so as usual. Thank you guys again! Your comments and love are seriously the sweetest.


	9. Nine

Cloud follows Wedge deep into Scrap Boulevard, keeping close watch as he continues to move with an uncertainty to him. A path leads them down a slight slope into a maze of turns and short tunnels. Crates are lined up for the few dozen yards, all of them with holes chewed clean through. 

“You guys ever used bait bags before?” Wedge asks, pulling his pistol out from his belt.

“Not at all.” Cloud shakes his head.

“Biggs taught it to me. Made it a whole lot easier to draw out the monsters. Problem though, sometimes there were so many we had to get out before we got all of ‘em.” 

Wedge lifts his gun and aims for a few burlap sacks that are suspended from a beam above them. It tears a hole through two, letting out a steady stream of dried beans. Once they hear chittering Wedge directs him to hide just outside of the mouth of a tunnel. 

A family of wererats scamper out to scavenge what’s now spread all over the ground. The longer they wait the more relaxed the rats get. When they settle into their position Wedge gives him a nod.

Cloud creeps up behind the group then lifts his sword over his head, the impact of the blow sends them all flying in a shower of blood and fur. Squealing lures out a few gorgers right after, crawling out from behind dried brush and broken crates. One or two try to leap and latch onto them from behind but Wedge quickly takes them out with his pistol. 

“Nothin’ to it!” Wedge yells, a little over excitedly.

Cloud has to admit, Wedge's suggestion to double up on work by clearing out the route did take his mind off things. 

“You guys do this kind of stuff back in Sector Five?” Wedge asks, digging around in his pocket to mark off their position on a map.

“No.” Cloud answers.

“Right, you’re both military. Probably have way better things to do than weed out a couple of monsters.”

“Ex-military.” Cloud corrects him.

“In that case, maybe you should start. I bet there’s a ton of jobs and people who could use some fighters.”

“Yeah, I’m sure there is.”

“I’d do it, but uh, after a while they make me squeamish.”

“Did Biggs do it then?” Cloud asks, nestling his sword back into the harness.

“Nah, he’s too busy with the orphanage. He helps coordinate the watch though, it gives him practice for missions.”

Cloud starts back on their route, “Zack would like that.” 

They walk slowly, taking turns checking the paths that tendril off from the main road. 

By what Cloud counts as their third checkpoint, Wedge suggests they take a break, which Cloud agrees to only after noticing he’s back to his tell-tale fidgeting and leg bouncing. As they sit propped up against a rock face, Cloud exhales sharply, frustrated that he’s also a little out of breath.

The static from the morning lingers like an itch, crawling from the back of his head to his temple, coming and going with a dull ache that if ignored he might forget is there. But everytime he closes his eyes he sees Zack connect with the wall in the basement, and the confusion in his eyes as he picks himself up from the floor.

“Cloud?”

Cloud blinks, realizing he was staying at his upturned palms resting in his lap.

“You okay, man?” Wedge adds, pulling out a sandwich and passing it to him.

“Yeah, just a lot to think about lately.” 

“You’re tellin’ me.” Wedge says with a mouth full of bread and cheese. “I haven’t been able to sleep.”

“Me either.”

Wedge gets up then, gulping down the last of their lunch before giving Cloud a nudge to his shoulder, “Well, I guess it can’t be helped. All we can do is keep working hard.” 

“Yeah.” Cloud nods.

For the rest of the patrol Wedge replaces his uncertainty with confidence. In a lot of ways, Cloud notices he’s mirroring Zack, from his attitude to his posture, like he’s been watching him for the last few days since they came. Cloud can’t help but laugh a bit when Wedge stops, shaking his head and looking lost in the same way he does.

“More like this.” Cloud says, putting his hands on his hips and pouting just slightly. 

Wedge smiles corrects himself only to laugh in return at how ridiculous it must feel. “He even makes  _ this _ look cool?”

“Calling him cool might be generous.” Cloud scoffs.

“I won’t tell him you said that.” Wedge shrugs.

“Why are yo—“

“You just looked like you needed cheering up, and before we went on patrol he said to keep an eye on you.” Wedge answers quickly.

“Yeah well, maybe you should just worry about yourself and AVALANCHE.” Cloud says plainly.

“Sorry.”

Cloud tilts his head, exhaling awkwardly before rubbing the back of his neck, “I mean—don’t be. You were just trying to help.”

As soon as they get past the barrier that separates the beasts from the civilians Wedge is met with friendly faces and curious questions. It’s then that Cloud realizes just how warm everyone seems to be toward them. In a matter of minutes Wedge is invited to dinner at a merchants and asked about how their patrols went or if there’s any news on what’s going on topside. He answers with responses that give them something to chew on, but nothing that says too much.

“By the way…” Wedge adds, tugging Cloud into a conversation with a shopkeeper, “We got a couple of new fighters in town, just saw him take down a horde in the scrap like it was nothing.”

“Could use some muscle around here. Especially with Biggs being out. Any word on him coming back?” The shopkeep asks.

Wedge fidgets a little, “Uh—“

“He’s helping out a friend of mine. Should be back any day now.” Cloud interjects. 

“Hm well, we had a couple of workshops he was supposed to lead in about an hour, seeing as you’re a fighter, think you could help out?” 

Cloud watches him look from his sword to his confused expression and back again. He’s about to reject him until he sees Wedge, hands clasped in front him—half begging. “Yeah? I guess?”

“This’ll be great!” Wedge nudges him.

They bring him to an empty lot behind a weapons shop. There’s maybe a half dozen of them, all in makeshift armor, outfitted with modded rifles he can tell were stolen or bought from Shinra.

“Hey Cloud, are you a good shot?”

Cloud shrugs, “I’ve used a gun like that before, can’t say I was any good though.”

“Can’t be worse than us. But if you can show us anything you learned in training, it might even give us an edge.” Wedge smiles.

They pass him one of their rifles, watching as Cloud hesitantly nestles it into the pocket of his shoulder. It still feels wrong even after enhancements, like no matter balanced the thing is the way it sways when he aims and the lack of connection when a bullet hits a target has never felt the way he thought he should. Not the same as when he uses the Hardedge or even the few times Zack let him hold the Buster.

He misses the cardboard target they’ve set up by a hand’s width. It’s better than when he was in training but the sheepish smile from Wedge proves that his lack of skill in marksmanship was unexpected.

“Anyway…” Cloud bites his lip, “Guns aren’t my thing.”

Leaving the shooting to the group, Cloud shows them a few common formations he remembers from infantry, and some tactics they might run into when dealing with them. After watching them a few times he feels proud to have helped in some way. 

Wedge disbands them just before dark, telling everyone to give a more thorough lookout on their way back home. What Cloud doesn’t expect is for the ache in his temple, and the fatigue in his legs to trickle back in the moment they get back to the bar.

He’s quick to find a seat at one of the tables, breathing in deep through his nose. Tifa sees him though, hurrying from the counter to bring him a glass of water.

“Hey, everything okay?”

Cloud waves a hand, sucking in another breath, “Yeah, just...long day.”

Tifa looks over at Wedge and gives him a nod, letting him take up her place behind the counter. “Can I get you anything?”

Cloud shakes his head, “I’m fine, really.” 

“Zack is in the back, I could—“

“No, please.” Cloud looks up at her, “I’ve got it.”

“Okay.” Tifa nods.

He tries to force himself upright, correcting his posture and using his elbow as a kickstand. “How about you?” 

“I’m okay. Barret’s been—Barret. He keeps checking on me.” 

“I’m glad someone is.” Cloud nods.

“I never did say thank you.” Tifa says, laying a hand over the one in his lap.

“You don’t have to.”

“I do, and you’re doing so much here already when you really shouldn’t have to.”

“That’s Zack.” Cloud interjects, “He wanted to help Biggs.”

Tifa tilts her head.

As if on cue Zack steps in from the back door, rolling his shoulders and craning his neck from side to side. He lets out a small groan with every stretch but offers Cloud a nod.

“Anyway…” Cloud sighs, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Tifa nods, “I should get back to the bar in case Wedge needs me.” 

He looks over to see Wedge chatting with the patrons, relaxed in conversation with the only difference being the service missing it’s usual flair. Jessie is back too, entertaining Marlene with an arcade game in the back corner.

“Mind if I sit here?”

Cloud isn’t sure when Zack switches places with Tifa, but the sunken feeling in his gut makes him wish she stayed. “Okay.”

The stool across from him creaks when Zack settles into it and continues as he rocks forward and back, chewing his lip until the air lightens a bit around them. The squeal of the wood makes Cloud peek up through his bangs noticing a long tear across the other boy’s shirt, he shoots his gaze back down when he realizes Zack is—smiling?

It’s soft and comforting, the way it always is, but it lacks some of the usual stress that lingers under his eyes. How could he be so happy after this morning? How can he look at him like that after watching him lose control in the basement? After seeing him so crazed, and just fucking out of it.

“Cloudy Sky.” Zack says matter of factly.

Cloud blinks in confusion.

“Boy, did I miss you...” Zack says, taking Cloud’s hand in his. 

“Huh?”

“Eh, I might be exaggerating.” Zack smirks, giving his fingers a squeeze. He’s back to joking, and that little thing he does where he breathes out to stifle a laugh. “Anyway, think we can talk?”

Cloud can feel his heart fall to his stomach, making it feel like drums beating in a way that blossoms from his chest and out to his limbs. Zack gives his hand a tug, coaxing him up from his seat and toward the bar door. Despite how red his face is he’s glad Zack can’t feel how sweaty his palms are beneath the gloves.

The walk back to their apartment feels like their first day in Wall Market. Or at least the frustration feels familiar.

As they take their last steps up to the second floor of Stargazer Heights Cloud realizes they haven’t spoken. Zack quietly unlocks the door, and Cloud lets himself in, fidgeting with the tips of his gloves until he pulls them off all together. He watched Zack lean the buster sword against the wall and follows suit, shakily resting his right beside it.

“Are you tired?” Zack asks, mindlessly unbuckling the series of belts and clasps that make up the sword harness. 

“A little.” Cloud admits, sitting on the edge of the bed to begin unzipping his boots.

“Me too.” He’s stripped down to his underwear before he rolls into bed, stretching out to take up the half closest to the wall. When Cloud twists to face him he can see Zack has his eyes closed, arms folded behind his head as a pillow. Already he knows he’s waiting for him to say something first.

“Hey, I—“ Cloud starts to say, but let’s the sentence fizzle out.

“Don’t you dare start out with some kind of apology, Spikes.” Zack huffs.

“But I—“

“Have nothing to be sorry about.” Zack shrugs.

Cloud takes a fistful of the sheets, gently tugging them toward him until they make shallow ripples across the bed. “Are you—scared of me?” He asks, tightening his grip and closing his eyes tight.

“Never.” 

The exhale that Cloud breathes lessens the weight in his chest and the pit in his stomach. They let the room hang in silence for a moment, before Zack’s eyes flutter open and he lets out a hum.

“You know, a few months ago I found some folks camping a half day out from Cosmo Canyon. Some old guys—like  _ way _ old. They let me stay with them for the night, didn’t ask any questions, but I needed to talk to someone, anyone I could. They saw you there, over my shoulder like a corpse. They could probably tell I felt alone. And one of them pointed at you and said somethin’ like, ‘You don’t like it, you can stop carrying all that pain and misery with you.’ It was so damn blunt and honest. But he was wrong, all that pain—it was  _ mine _ .” Zack pushes himself up to his forearms and jams his thumb into his chest, “I could do whatever I wanted with it. It had nothing to do with you, Nibelheim, Hojo, or anything else someone wanted to throw at us.” 

“What are you trying to say?” 

Zack shakes his head, “I guess I was upset today because I felt helpless. Because I saw you down there and there was nothing I could do to help. So I got stuck in my own head all through patrol and—I talked to Barret…”

“Barret?”

“Right.” Zack nods, “I’m surprised he gave me the time of day actually. But turns out, he’s a big softie. A lot like Angeal, he has trouble turning away someone who needs help, or maybe he just felt sorry for me, but regardless, it helped talking to him. Helped me understand what’s important to me and why I’m doing all this. Just like those guys.”

Some of what he’s saying doesn’t entirely make sense, but the way he’s smiling lightly, eyes lit up with mako, Cloud can tell something about him was just—better.

“I’m gonna say something really stupid now.” Zack adds, pushing himself all the way up until he swings his legs over the side of the bed, sliding in next to Cloud.

“You say a lot of stuff, not all of it is stupid.” Cloud shrugs.

Zack laughs softly at that, only to shake his head before reaching to brush back a few flyaways from Cloud’s face. “I love you.”

“You wh—?”

When he’s interrupted he realizes Zack’s kiss feels different than his, more eager, more forceful—with a hunger. Both of his hands are pressed to Cloud’s cheeks, pulling him forward until his nose is a little crushed from the pressure. He loosens his grip a bit to let Cloud breathe but after a sharp gasp he leans in again, smiling as their lips meet. “I’m sorry.”

It’s then, in the daze that follows Cloud figures out one of his favorite sounds is the breathy chuckle Zack makes when he’s embarrassed, coming second to the quiet vibrating hum he hears when he says “I love you,” back to him.

Without hesitation Cloud interlaces their fingers, bravely dragging his lip against Zack’s knuckles. He presses them to his forehead, thanking the gods that the fogginess and residual static had for now all but gone or could simply be ignored. Because at the very least, he wanted to have this. 

Zack tilts his chin upward, making space for Cloud to bury his face against his neck, “Stay with me.” He whispers like a prayer.

Cloud breaks away from their embrace to crawl over and straddle his lap, hands drifting down his chest and across shallow scars and near gone yellow bruises. “I don’t want to go anywhere.” 

Zack runs a thumb along his cheek and smiles sheepishly, pushing up the hem of his turtleneck with the other. As the fabric is pulled over his head Cloud can remember the night sky, stars dancing above them in the canyon, moonlight spilling through the trees. It makes him look at Zack now, shining in a holy glow of stripes with the light from the blinds spilling across them both.

Clumsily, they both fumble with his belt buckles, reminding him back to the time he first put on the SOLDIER uniform, how Zack’s voice was shaky and panicked, and the way he wanted to tell him the pants had felt too big for him. Now, he slides them off with ease, letting out a gasp and a sweet moan as Zack slips a hand in the new space between them. 

Cloud breathes out, curling his fingers at the nape of his neck.

“You okay?” 

Cloud nods, pushing him backward, smiling at the hazy, dreamy and drunken gaze that meets him as they collapse onto the sheets. They become a mess of limbs, hands drifting from every tense and rippling muscle, pulling until there is almost nowhere they haven’t closed the distance between them. 

Cloud is glad Zack is good at reaching around covertly into the drawer beside them, somehow not drawing his attention away from Cloud. He works him slowly, until he’s finally ready to shift beneath, letting Cloud roll his hips to accommodate him. 

Zack exhales with Cloud’s gasp, running his fingers through blonde hair, effectively holding Cloud in place as he bucks his hips. Cloud let’s out a soft whimper as he tries to match him until they both get close, falling out of rhythm until every muscle in his body seems to relax and the grip on his hair and waist tightens as Zack yanks him down to bury his face in his neck. 

Exhausted, Zack twirls a few strands of Cloud’s hair around his finger, letting out a soft chuckle, “Didn’t really expect that.”

Cloud let’s out an airy scoff, nuzzling into the space under his chin, “You really are a puppy.”

In the morning Cloud finds himself still splayed over him, his leg still hooked around his hip, head resting peacefully under his clavicle. 

They’re both equally disheveled, sore and tired from the night before. Cloud sighs when he realizes the bedsheet is twisted and caught around his ankle. 

“Few more minutes.” Zack protests groggily.

“We’re supposed to meet everyone at the bar for patrols.” Cloud says, twisting around to unwrap himself.

“Patrols smatrols.” Zack groans.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Sure I do.” Zack shrugs, “patrols can wait.”

“Zack.”

“Joking, Spikes.”

“Uh huh. Guess I’ll have to tell Wedge we don’t want any of those mercenary jobs either.”

“Mercenary wh—why didn’t you say that!”

Cloud laughs as Zack pushes him over, nearly sprinting from the bed to the shower. 

He listens to the water run, splashing unevenly through the crappy pipes. As he stares up at the ceiling he drags his hands down his face trying to wipe away the buzzing feeling of content that’s washed over him.

On their way to the bar, Zack rolls his shoulders, not bothering to shake the grin that stays tugging at the corners of his lips.

“New day, Spikes.” Zack nods, “You ready?”

“I guess?”

“C’mon, you gotta do better than that.” He stops them a few yards from the steps, coaxing Cloud to stand in front of him. “With me.”

“What are you doing?” Cloud groans.

“Squats, what’s it look like?” Zack winks at him, “First to fifty gets to take out whatever monsters we run into first!”

Cloud hesitates, looking around them at the people passing by on their own morning routes. But when he turns back to Zack he can see the confidence radiating from him, making him want to join in too. “You’re on.” 

He’s on squat thirty-seven when he sees Zack’s eyes go wide and feels a hand brush against his shoulder. It’s followed by a playful voice and the smell of fresh flowers.

“Whatcha up to?” 

“Aerith!” Zack nearly trips as he lurches forward, scooping her into a swinging hug, “The hell are you doing here?”

“More than you two it looks like.” She laughs, gracefully finding her footing as Zack sets her down. “Had to make sure a new friend of mine got home safely.”

Cloud turns around to see Biggs, giving them both a nod as he balances his weight between a good leg and a crutch. 

“Welcome back, man.” Zack says.

“Good to be back.” Biggs smiles.

“Would one of you mind showing us inside?” Aerith asks, taking her place next to Biggs to steady him.

Biggs takes uneven steps, hopping up the stairs one by one until Zack gets the door. Before he can pull on the handle, Biggs looks up at him with an expression of both determination and worry. “You two better come with, you’re gonna need to hear this.

They’re met with a welcome committee that contains just as much doting as when he’d brought in Tifa only days ago. Except this time, Biggs is nearly toppled by Jessie, Tifa and Wedge who crash into him with the force of one of Shinra’s trains.

“Don’t ever do that to me again!” Jessie shoves him, letting Wedge catch him as he stumbles backward.

“I missed you guys too.” Biggs smiles, bumping fists with Wedge as he’s lowered into a bar stool.

When Barret comes in through the backdoor the room falls silent. He takes three steps in, letting Marlene scamper past to latch onto Biggs’ arm that isn’t holding onto the crutch.

“My man.” Barret says, and Cloud can feel the warmth and relief falling from each word. “Glad to see ya.”

Biggs nods, holding strong despite the large hand that clamps onto his shoulder.

“Team’s all back together.” 

“Thanks to these guys.” Biggs looks over at Cloud, Zack and Aerith who gives a little wave as confirmation.

“So I’m told.” Barret sighs, “Who’s the girl?”

“Local florist!” Aerith winks.

Cloud rubs his temples as Zack highfives her.

“Right, well, guess we’re all friends here, or at least we got nothin’ to gain if we don’t play nice.” Barret says, shifting his gaze to Zack who nods in response. 

“Aerith might have some answers for us.” Biggs interjects, “It’ll be worth hearing her out.”

Squeezing into the hideout is even more difficult this time. Cloud and Zack both lean against the wall, giving space for Aerith and Biggs to take up their seats at the table.

“Over the last few days I’ve been listening in on whatever I can about Shinra and the reactors.” Aerith starts out, “The Turks have been coming to Sector Five periodically to look for Biggs. From what I gathered their idea was to use him as a bargaining chip.”

“For what? Barret?” Zack asks, folding his arms over his chest.

“That’s what I thought too, but I think the bargain was a trick. Getting Barret wasn’t going to be enough for them.”

“If Barret isn’t the problem then what’d Don Corneo want with him?” Tifa asks.

“What’s Corneo known for?” Aerith tilts her head.

“Knowing everything and everyone in the slums.” Wedge answers, “It’s why he owns Wall Market, the guy can move freely without worrying about any intervention.”

“That would be easier than increasing Shinra’s military presence. And if there’s money involved he’d be willing to exchange the manpower to do it.” Tifa nods.

“Which is why his lackeys were sniffing around Sector Seven.” Jessie agrees.

“If they found Barret then they’d report it to Shinra, confirming his location before using Biggs to rile him up. If they make AVALANCHE angry, then who knows what a supposed terrorist group would do after blowing two reactors.” Aerith continues. 

“Well, they didn’t—so the hell does that mean for us?” Barret asks.

“They need the bombings to stop, but they also need to completely tank the public’s opinion on AVALANCHE.” Biggs adds, “And make Shinra look good in the meantime.”

“So, Midgar’s biggest threat will have one final act. Claiming the lives of countless civilians to avenge a friend.” Aerith sighs.

“And what’s that? Spit it out, Flower Girl.” Barret growls.

“They’re going to drop the plate.”

“They can’t do that!” Zack steps forward, “I mean, they won’t, right? They didn’t find Biggs.”

“I don’t think that matters. They know AVALANCHE’s base is in Sector Seven, the plan works just the same, their hostage story was just going to be an easy out.” Biggs says.

“Shinra can still easily twist it anyway they want.” Cloud adds. 

“What do we do?” Tifa asks, her eyes pleading.

“Everyone shut the hell up!” Barret roars, “How sure are you about them dropping the plate?” 

“More sure than I’d like to be. The Turks and I—just know that if they say they’re going to do something they mean it.” Aerith says.

“Cloud and I can attest to that.” Zack says, “And they’re not to be underestimated either.”

“Then if y’all are so experienced, what the hell do we do to stop it?” Barret asks.

Zack’s gaze shifts from Barret, scanning over the eight of them. “Everything we can.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's been a pretty hectic month, my birthday was a couple of weeks ago and turns out all my best friends and favorite characters are leos too. OTL I've been tired. Anyway, this was a long chapter to make up for it with finally some break through for Cloud and Zack voicing his feelings. I also never intended to do any smut for this fic so I tried to keep it pretty mild for this story for people who may not be into that. As usual, kudos are always welcome and I LOVE hearing yall's thoughts <3 
> 
> Anyway...Who's ready to drop a plate!


	10. Ten

“Barret and Cloud are with me.” Zack says, spinning the schematics of the pillar back to face Jessie.

“I’m going too.” 

They all turn to look at Tifa who’s setting materia into the cuffs of her gloves. 

“You sure?” Zack asks.

“I don’t think you get to ask me that.” Tifa glares, “Don’t try to talk me out of it. There’s more than enough people staying on the ground.” 

Everyone seems to know better than to argue with her and he can feel the tension radiating through her whenever she looks at him. He gives her a curt nod before turning to Wedge and Aerith who are both keeping a hovering presence around Biggs.

“You three and Jessie are on evacuations. I want everyone as far the hell away from Sector Seven as you can get them.” Zack says.

“So the rest of AVALANCHE ain’t good enough for ya, huh?” Barret growls.

“That’s not it.” Zack shakes his head, “Jessie’s got access to stuff we normally couldn’t hope to get our hands on, Biggs is your tactician, and Wedge is your best coordinator. Without them, all you have is a bunch of fighters, better to prioritize and keep them safe.” 

“With a team down here it’ll be easier to split up and direct everyone to Sectors Five and Six.” Aerith nods.

“Besides, Cloud and I can pick up any slack we’re missing. No doubts there.” Zack adds, giving Cloud a glance over his shoulder.

Barret closes his eyes, leaning his weight heavily into the table. The metal legs creak as he lets out a heavy sigh, “This better work, Soldier Boy.” 

Once everyone’s left the bar Zack looks around and finds Tifa, nervously wiping down the bar counter, as he comes in closer he can see her scrubbing at a spot that he knows won’t let up even with a little elbow grease.

“My old mentor used to catch me training not even an hour before we’d ship out for missions. He said If I kept up like that I’d pass out from exhaustion before we even got our boots on the ground.” Zack says.

Tifa sets aside the rag,“I know this might sound rude to ask but—why did you come here?” 

“To help Biggs, I already tol—“

“To Midgar.” Tifa clarifies, “If you wanted to leave Shinra, if that’s even really what you did. Why go right under their nose?”

“I was coming back for Aerith.”

“Then why drag Cloud into it? I can tell something’s wrong—like he’s not well. If Cloud was in SOLDIER with you, then couldn’t they have helped?” 

“You don’t understand...if I left him there—“

“What? He’d end up like you?” 

He tries not to think about it, but the way she says it, icy and almost serpentine brings him back to  _ that _ reactor. The way she’d flown backwards, like a rag doll after being flung from the blade. Her body thudded against the metal in a way that was so unsettling, he has to swallow the nausea down even now.

_ You’re all monsters.  _

Zack looks at his hands, flexing and un-flexing his fingers until he starts fidgeting like a child. 

_ I never want to see you again. _

“Maybe.” Zack says quietly, “But there was no way in hell I’d let that happen. You have to believe me.”

“He trusts you.” Tifa sighs.

“I know.” 

Her eyes soften when they shift away from him, the fire in them replaced with kindness. “Every time I see you, I remember everything you people took away that day. My home, my family, my friends—I can’t lose them again.”

Her distance is broken by his hands reaching for hers. He clasps her palm lightly, just enough pressure to keep her attention, but not so much she can’t pull away if she needs. “I won’t let that happen, you have my word. I know that isn’t worth much to you if anything, but what I do know is you’re all he has left of Nibelheim too. So I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you two get to keep that and then some.”

Tifa’s expression wanes from confusion to worry, until it all falls away to tears. They drip onto the back of his palm, making him squeeze her fingers tighter before she inhales deep, gathering her composure. “Then I’m holding you to it.”

“Deal.” Zack nods.

There’s a lingering ‘thank you’ that never quite meets him. But when she turns away with a look that he thinks is a little more calm Zack knows it’ll have to be enough. 

Soon after he finds Aerith is waiting outside, leaned against the railing of the terrace. “Everyone’s nervous.” 

“Are you?”

“The normal amount.” Aerith smiles lightly, “Cloud and Barret have already headed for the pillar. It’s nice that they all look to you for guidance. Even Barret let you have the floor down there.”

“I try to be careful not to overstep, but it’s a SOLDIER habit I guess.”

“Not a bad one to keep.” She smiles.

“The rest of the team walk you through it?” Zack asks.

“Mhm. I’ll be rounding up Marlene and the rest of the children to take to the Leaf House. Mom says she can offer you all somewhere to sleep when it’s over.” Aerith nods.

“I’ll have to do something for her…garden work, cooking, cleaning, you name it.”

She laughs at that, but he catches something airy and hollow. Even the smile after has a distance to it. 

“Reno and Rude give you a hard time after we left?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle. I think I gave them more of a hard time if anything.” 

“That how you got the info on the plate?”

“If you talk to them long enough and pay attention, they may just tell you everything you need to know.” Aerith winks. 

“You’re scary.” Zack grins.

“Me?” Aerith asks before nudging him with her shoulder, “So that must be why you didn’t come back until now, huh? Scared you off.” 

“Not at all.” Zack says, “But I am sorry about that. I took way too long and things aren’t the same.”

“I didn’t need things to be the same, silly.” Aerith slides a hand up to his cheek, “I just needed a little more time with you.”

Zack leans into her touch, feeling the warmth and comfort that always seems to come with her presence. He starts by pressing his palm over hers, but ends up pulling her in close, trying to let the light fill him up. “We’ll talk more soon. I promise.”

“Looking forward to it.” Aerith nods, nuzzling deeper into his chest.

He lets her go after a few deep breaths. Slowly, he back peddles down the stairs, giving Aerith a wink, trying to push away the residual nerves that run through him. 

On the way to the pillar he passes Jessie and Wedge, “Stay safe for me!” Zack calls out to them before turning for the final sprint to the seemingly endless spiraling stairs.

Cloud, Tifa and Barret are waiting almost fifty yards from the bottom, all of their faces sharing the same resolve. It reminds him a little of Angeal and Genesis the way they stood before real monsters, ready to take on whatever’s next. 

“Aerith okay?” Cloud asks, hands on his hips as he tries ignoring the restless tap in his foot.

“Everyone’s good. How are we here?”

“Shinra troops all the way up looks like.” Barret says.

“Wedge worked fast to get some reinforcements from the watch.” Tifa adds.

They all look up when Reno’s voice blares through a helicopter’s speakers. “Attention AVALANCHE  _ scum _ . This is your last chance, get your asses out now or face the consequences.”

“Well ain’t he polite?” Zack scoffs.

“What’s the plan?” Cloud asks.

“I’ll clear the way, you and Tifa flank. Barret, think you can give us a little cover?”

“I’ll keep the chopper off ya.” Barret nods.

Zack gives Barret a nod in return, then looks back at Cloud, “Don’t push it. Low grade spells, no fancy attacks. Know when to fall back.”

“If you need out I’ll be there to help.” Tifa tells him.

Cloud raises a hand to grip the handle of the Hardedge, “I’ve got this.” 

Zack mirrors him, breathing in deep, “Then let’s show ‘em who they’re messing with.”

Barret starts them off with a charged shot that jostles the helicopter enough to get their bearings. The first few flights of stairs are mostly clear, just a few volunteers from the watch and the electrical crackle of exposed wire. By what Zack counts is the fifth they’re met with drones and a few foot soldiers. He’s about to swing his sword when Cloud takes the lead, zapping them with a middle grade lightning spell that makes him scoff as he darts to get out of the way of gunfire.

“Low grade, huh?” Zack scolds, swiveling around to follow Cloud’s footwork.

“Wasn’t high grade.” Cloud shrugs.

“Save the flirting for later.” Tifa interrupts, sending the last of the infantrymen flying over the railing. 

“You heard the lady.” Barret says, rushing past them both.

The blades of the helicopter follow them in a spiral, laying down fire in the gaps between levels. Barret volleys it back when he can but even he can’t see what’ll happen at the top of every flight of stairs. Tifa on the other hand doesn’t look phased, she gracefully darts around every floor, playing off Cloud’s swings and following up on his spells. Everything she does seems to be to conserve his stamina. For a while Zack hardly feels needed. 

Cloud knocks a heli-trooper through a wall of stacked storage crates, flinching as they go crashing through and into the charged wire. He gets stuck on the way they convulse, making him stop for a moment, staring at the foam that drips from their mouth, sword still caught in a groove he’d left in the floor.

“We have to keep moving.” Zack says, tugging at him with a hand on his shoulder.

Cloud says nothing, only nods and sucks in a shaky breath.

The determination in all of them seems to gradually wane. Up the stairs a watchmen is draped over the rails, his body is bent backwards unnaturally, rifle dangling from the strap still sling over his shoulder. On the next flight they find three more, all of them laid out on the metal stairs, full of holes. Zack stops at the top, letting Cloud catch his breath and wrap an arm around Tifa’s shoulder who’s biting back tears.

It’s the last few levels where they all begin to show signs of fatigue. Zack takes it upon himself to give everyone a breather, siphoning energy from mako filled veins. He can hear Angeal somewhere in the distance telling him he’s pushing it.

“Almost there.” Zack mutters to himself, dashing between a set of shock troops. He groans when they don’t fall the first time, inwardly cursing as Cloud comes in a second wave, followed by Tifa. 

“You hear that?” Barret asks, shooting down a drone and a sentry before rubbing out the stiffness in his shoulder.

Zack turns to look around them, seeing the fires and the mix of bodies from both Shinra and the slums. “Hear what?”

“No more gunfire. Chopper stopped tailin’ us.”

“Normally I’d celebrate but—“

“They’re waiting for us.” Barret nods, “Assholes tired us out just to take us on at the top.” 

“Find some cover.” Zack instructs, “Rushing in now won’t do us any favors.”

Together they crouch behind some crates stacked on top of a metal beam. Tifa inspects Cloud who keeps his eyes trained on Zack, glaring at him as he lowers himself to the floor with a wince.

“You’re overdoing it.” Cloud says.

“Just a little banged up, nothin’ to worry about.” Zack smiles at him but keeps a hand pressed to his rib.

Tifa rolls her eyes at that, emitting a curative glow that eases the pain for the four of them. “We can’t back out now. Let’s be smart about this. What can you tell us about the guys in the chopper?”

“Assholes.” Cloud says simply.

“Gonna need a little more than that don’t you think?” Tifa scoffs.

“Reno‘s fast and Rude is the heavy hitter. It’s harder to take them on together but maybe if we can split them up…” 

“It’ll be tough for them to coordinate.” Tifa nods.

Zack looks from Barret to Tifa and then back again, “I’ll stick with Barret in that case and take on Rude. You and Cloud are on Reno.”

Barret stretches his gunned arm over his chest, “Let’s give it all we’ve got. Ain’t no plate fallin’ today. Not if AVALANCHE has anything to say about it.” 

“It’ll be a cinch.” Zack nods.

With a collective deep breath they all get back on their feet. Zack feels the slightest bit of magic return to him, pooling in his chest and spreading to his limbs. He takes the lead up the last set of stairs where gunfire stops him just shy of the last step.

“This is your final warning.” Rude announces, “Shinra will not negotiate with terrorists.” 

Zack blocks the next barrage of bullets with the buster sword. “Barret!”

“I hear ya!” 

The bombardment between the helicopter and Barret’s gun distracts them enough to let Cloud and Tifa through to the control panel. But it also provided Reno enough time to leap from the cabin, rushing in to knock Cloud off his feet and into a row of metal barrels.

“Well, well, well...I expected to see one first class asshole, but  _ two _ ?” Reno sneers, tapping the tip of his baton on his shoulder.

Tifa goes for him next, managing to sweep his leg, but not prepared for him to quickly roll back onto his feet. “Not so fast.”

A stop spell catches her mid sprint.

“You’re lucky, Rude requested I don’t kill you this time around. So just chew on that for a while, will ya?”

Zack looks to Barret who’s still shooting through gritted teeth. “Hang tight for me, okay?” 

“You better hurry up!” Barret snaps.

Cloud was right. The moment Zack moves Reno does the same. They connect with the sound of metal on metal, and the crackle of electricity that surges through him. He flinches from the heat of it but keeps his grip tight on the sword handle, pushing back with a grunt.

“Zack Fair, huh?” Reno hisses through gritted teeth, “Who’d have thought I’d ever get the pleasure of meeting you.”

“Aw, and here I was worried about my reputation. Not everyday a guy can come back from the dead. I’ll be sure to give you my autograph later!” 

“Or your corpse. Whatever works.” Reno shrugs.

The resistance against his sword disappears, making him whirl around to track the trail of static that zig-zags around the platform. After a while it develops a pattern where he’ll come in, let Zack block a hit only to bound away again. After maybe the tenth time he realizes he hasn’t been able to make any ground for the control panel. 

The stop spell on Tifa is renewed every second pass Reno makes. Zack realizes Barret hasn’t budged either, keeping steady fire on the helicopter but getting nothing out of it but wasted bullets that ricochet off the metal. And even though the pile of barrels have shifted every now and again, Cloud is likely either pinned or too exhausted to get up. 

“Shit.” Zack hisses.

There’s no way to tell how the hell Barret would know what he was thinking, but when Reno draws in again the gunfire intercepts him, making him leap away just before he can reach Zack. It creates an opening for Zack to jump himself, running for Barret who helps him to vault upward, high enough to slash a long gash along the side of the chopper. When it lands they both watch it spin, twirling until it crashes onto the platform.

“Get ready.” Zack says.

“Use this time, get Tifa and your boyfriend.”

“Way ahead of ya.”

He runs for Tifa first, seeing her twitching awkwardly as the effects of the spell fade. 

“You okay?” Zack asks.

“Getting there.” She manages to nod, taking a stiff step out of her position.

When she stumbles into a full motion they both run for Cloud. He’s conscious, but one of the barrels is heavy on his chest, making his breathing too ragged and sapping the strength he’d need to push it off. 

“You’re okay, Cloudy Sky. We’ve got you.”

“Sorry.” Cloud says, sucking in air.

Zack runs his thumb along his cheek, “Don’t even worry about it.” 

“Ain’t that cute.” Reno scoffs, smirking as battered Rude steps in behind him.

“This is over, man.” Zack says.

“You’re right. But damn was it fun.” Reno shrugs, letting out a bitter laugh as the lights of the control panel flash.

_ Plate separation authorized. Awaiting confirmation. _

Zack moves without thinking, only to be stopped after getting more than halfway, his muscles tensing all at once with a burning and the same familiar sting of an electrical current. Yellow tints his vision as pointed walks sprung up around. His lungs can’t expand as wide with his breath but manages to steal a glance down at his boots, seeing the tip of the leather inches away from a blinking device. 

Everything else seems to happen even more quickly around him. Rude draws in close to Barret, letting out a few sharp jabs to his arm that seem to jam his cannon. Tifa tries to counter him, but is knocked to the other side of the platform. 

Cloud comes for him, the sounds of his sword reverberate through the barrier, sending sparks around them both. He tries to tell him to leave him, to focus on the pillar, but when he opens his mouth the burning tears at his throat.

_ Authorization confirmed. Plate separation imminent. Evacuate all personnel immediately. _

With a sudden flash the barrier around him falls away, dropping him to the metal floor. He quickly nods to Cloud who runs for the control panel. “Stop it.” Zack coughs, pushing himself up to his knees, “You have to stop it, man.”

“That’s not up to me.” Reno says, kneeling down to meet him.

As Reno uses the tip of his baton to lift his chin. Rude hails another helicopter for extraction, having downed Barret and Tifa.

“C’mon. You’re a SOLDIER. You’re a dumbass if you think Shinra was gonna play fair.” Reno says.

He backs off, letting Zack’s head drop and the exhaustion drag down the rest of him. Both Turks grab onto the footholds of a ladder, disappearing into the distance as the supports of the pillar begin to buckle beneath them.

“Cloud!” Zack calls out, struggling to get to his feet.

Cloud runs to him, his expression panicked, “I don’t know what to do! How do I—I don’t…”

“Go with Barret and Tifa, get out of here.” 

“There has to be something we can do!” Cloud yells, twisting to look back at the panel.

“I’ll do what I can. Just listen to me.”

“But I—“

“Spikes.” Zack puts a heavy hand on his shoulder, making Cloud stumble a little to keep the support. “You gotta trust me.”

“You’re not doing this, you’re not fucking doing this!” Cloud barks, pushing the hand from his shoulder.

“I’m not asking!” Zack pushes past him, “I’ll be fine.”

_ Warning: Separation command initializing in thirty seconds. _

Zack looks at the levers and buttons, “Just need to buy a little time…” 

“Zack!”

Barret runs in behind them, clutching a bruised arm, and keeping Tifa steady in the other. “Found a way down, but we need to hurry.” 

“That’s great, but I uh, I’ve got a promise I have to keep.” Zack says, turning to glance at Tifa. 

_ Fifteen seconds remaining. _

One of the platform’s panels disengages from the support descending in a grating slant behind them. 

“That’s not what I—!” Tifa starts, but Barret hooks his arm around her middle.

“We don’t have time for this shit, do what you gotta do but I better see your ass at the bottom, Soldier Boy!” 

“Sure. Just take care of this for me in the meantime.” Zack shoves Cloud into him, watching Barret grab a fist full of his turtleneck as he drags him to a line of cables still suspended off the edge of the pillar.

Ignoring Cloud’s protests as they grow further away he turns back to the panel.

_ Five, four, three— _

“Always just getting by, huh, Fair?” Zack sighs, pulling his sword from the harness. “Well, let’s not quit now!

Pulling the last of his magic he channels it all into the buster, jamming the flaming blade into the panel on the last count. He flies backward in a burst of sparks and smoke. Unable to find his footing behind him, he gets swept away by the blast, seeing the plate dislodge, crashing level by level above him. 

_ Zackary…don’t you need someone to save  _ **_you_ ** _? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little action heavy this chapter. As usual, kudos are always welcome and I LOVE hearing yall's thoughts <3 See you next update!


	11. Eleven

They land only yards away from Sector Seven’s gate, coughing on smoke and soot while carrying the heavy and familiar feeling of burning buildings, crushed and falling into themselves. As soon as Cloud’s boots hit the ground, he starts pulling at slabs of concrete, his breath ragged and desperate with each unsuccessful attempt to clear just a little more path. 

“Cloud..?” Tifa says, her voice biting back tears of her own.

He doesn’t answer her, instead he grunts, nudging away a heavy metal panel that reveals nothing but more shattered foundation underneath. 

This feeling is familiar too. Back then, he remembers it being elbow over elbow, hand over hand, clawing at the rocks to get to him. His legs wouldn’t move, and his arms buckled from the effort but—it felt similar; heat and more heat, the uncomfortable gurgle of someone’s pained breathing. He tries to remember who’s breath it was again. 

“Cloud, stop it.” Tifa lays a hand on his shoulder when he finds a hunk of wall with a bit of give, “Please stop.”

“Don’t touch me!” 

There’s too much force in the shove that follows, it knocks her back, stumbling into Barret.

“Hey! She said that’s enough, Dumbass!” Barret growls, grabbing him by the collar. The fabric tightens awkwardly around his windpipe, making him cough through a snarl.

“Told Soldier Boy I’d take care of you, but if you can’t get your shit together I’ll break that promise just as quick.” Barret warns him.

Cloud grabs onto his wrist, “Let go! You don’t get it, I—“ 

“You what?”

His throat is burning. Could be from Barret’s hand holding a fistful of his shirt or it could be from the dust, having sucked it in on every painful inhale since they descended from that damn pillar. It hurts too much to answer him. Instead, Cloud claws weakly at Barret’s fingers until he lets his arms fall to his sides in defeat.

Barret lessens his grip hesitantly, “I know you’re worried about him. I am too. But we gotta hold it together.” 

Tifa steps around to him, gently grazing his arm with her fingers but still keeping him at an arm’s length. When Cloud doesn’t move she comes closer, running her thumb against his cheek. “I’m here.” 

Together they make it to the enclave between Sector Seven and Wall Market. It’s already filled to the brim with people that extend deep into the expressway. Some of them tend to the wounded while others push and carry supplies through the tunnels like a circuit. Cloud sees a child with a long gash along their leg, lying unconscious as their mother tenderly wraps it with bandages. For some reason it makes him squeamish enough to want to keep a little closer to Tifa.

Barret gives up his healing materia to the old man who owned the Sector Seven Inn. He insists on paying him a few hundred gil, but Barret refuses, balling the little orb into the man’s fist with eyes that ensure he isn’t the one who needs it. 

When they reach the end of the road it spits them out into the dividing paths between the station and Sector Five. Cloud’s legs begin to tremble as he strains to stay upright. He thinks about Zack’s practiced breathing and matches it, clenching his fists as he pushes away thoughts of the pillar. The patterns of his new inhale and exhale pool mako in his chest that spreads through his extremities, steadying him. By the time they reach the Leaf House, all he can taste is a hint of soil and mint. 

“This is the rendezvous point.” Barret says, “Soldier Boy said Marlene would be here.”

Cloud nods, “Aerith should be here too.”

“Then what are we waitin’ for?” 

Tifa knocks on the Leaf House door, taking a few steps back until it opens just enough for Miss Folia to see them. “Come inside, quickly.” 

The orphanage is quiet. At first, Cloud assumes it’s because the children are all asleep, but the closer he looks through the darkness the more he can see them. They sit in groups, some of them huddled in a thin bedsheet, others laying loosely coiled around each other like stray kittens on a cold night. All of them awake.

Biggs takes up an armchair in the corner, holding Marlene in his lap. 

“Marlene!” Barret bellows, and is immediately met with a chorused hush.

Despite Miss Folia’s protests and the children’s unsure chittering, Marlene runs to him, followed by Biggs who carefully steps around the little huddled masses. “Good to see you guys made it back in one piece.” He whispers then nods to direct them to the second floor.

Upstairs, the sound of the plate is loud and grating, booming with an echoing crash in the distance as buildings continue to slip down, only adding to the piles of wood and metal. Biggs takes up vigil on the edge of a bed, letting Barret settle into a stool next to him as Cloud and Tifa lean against an empty wall. He runs his hands down his face, tiredly looking at each of them, “Where’s Zack?” 

Cloud can’t bring himself to say anything.

“He wanted to do what he could.” Tifa bites her lip.

Cloud can feel a quiet affirmation between all of them, a pause as though there’s something they’re all trying to keep from him. 

“I passed Jessie and Wedge on the way in. They’re helping out with getting everyone settled in this sector and Wall Market.” Biggs adds.

“What about Aerith?” Cloud interjects.

“I was hoping Zack would be with you before I got to that.” Biggs sighs, “There was a problem before we even got into the tunnels.” 

“What problem?” Cloud asks, arms crossed over his chest.

“Turks.”

“The Turks were up on the pillar—“

“Not all of them. Some guy with long hair headed us off. He said something about it being time for her to go?” Biggs continues.

“Tseng.” Cloud grits his teeth, “And what? You just let him take her?”

“No, she did. She made a deal—she’d go with him so long as the kids and myself would be allowed to escape. She forced me not to interfere.” 

He feels heat as the anger builds up through him until his cheeks flare red. “Fuck.” Cloud growls and with a loud thud slams the side of his fist into the wall making dust cascade from the rafters. 

“Cloud…” Tifa puts a hand on the bend in his arm, “We’ll figure this out.”

“Everyone just wants to play the hero…” Cloud mutters, “What about me?”

“We all did our best.” She urges him.

“It wasn’t good enough.”

When he looks at her he realizes he's said something hurtful again. It makes him turn quickly, rushing back down the stairs and out of the orphanage. 

The air of the slums smells just like the rest of Midgar now; smoke and mako with an orange glow that seeps through the jerry-built buildings. 

“Cloud! Wait!” Tifa catches up, stopping just a few yards behind him. “Where are you going?”

_ Stay with me.  _

Cloud clamps his hands over his temples and sinks to the ground.

She takes both of his hands and lightly holds them in hers. “Please, let me help.”

She says it so softly, making him tense up at her touch with shivers that reverberate through him. There’s a tremble to her hand that rests against his skin, like they have a sadness to them, but also something more—like rage. She must be remembering the same thing too.

Watching her removes any need for convincing. They walk together to Elmyra’s where she shows them a room waiting for them just as promised. 

Cloud lies awake, eyes trained on the ceiling of Aerith’s bedroom. The wood of it is dusty, and it creaks with the breeze. There’s a beam that runs through the center, splitting the two halves of the room apart, dividing the bed from the drawers, the window from the door, and so on. 

This is only the first night, but he realizes that it’s been years since he’s actually been without Zack. The memory of his constant presence waxes and wanes, flowing in and out like the tide. Mindlessly, he keeps a hand on his forearm, maintaining the familiar pressure from their journey to Midgar. He tries desperately not to sleep.

Cloud knows that if he wakes up tomorrow, he has to accept what everyone is trying not to tell him. If he wakes up tomorrow he has to accept that Aerith is missing, and if he wakes up tomorrow—he has to accept that after years of only knowing one thing, he’ll be alone. 

He tries to anchor himself on knowing that Tifa’s is only a foot away. She twitches in her sleep with a finger tap or a sudden soft jolt of her leg. Sometimes she turns, facing him and then away again. When she does, Cloud quietly brushes the hair out of her face or rests a hand over hers.

_ You think you can save them?  _

Cloud shakes his head slowly, carefully releasing her from his already hesitant grip. He goes so far as to pull away completely, sliding back to the furthest edge of the bed to get away from her. 

If he can distance himself from them, he won’t have to think about Zack—probably dead, crushed and alone in the rubble, or worse. He won’t have to think about Aerith, taken by the people he knows couldn’t possibly have anything good to do with her. But as much as he tries to fight it, it only leaves a hollow pain in his gut and his eyes stinging, heavy with exhaustion that slowly coaxes him to sleep. 

The weight drags him down, sinking into dreams of heat like he’s never felt before. It’s vicious and suffocating, licking at his skin with splintering embers. When he tries to breathe something seems to bubble up in his mouth, making him gag and sputter. A pair of heavy boots approach as he writhes, rolling off the bed and onto the floor with a loud thud.

When he looks up he sees Sephiroth towering above him. “I warned you, Cloud.” 

He crawls awkwardly toward the door, spitting and coughing up the black liquid with a hand hovering over his throat. 

“You didn’t listen. So what do we do now?”

He’s turned onto his back roughly, kicked over by the toes of the other man’s boot. Before he can move again, Sephiroth curls a hand beneath his chin, jerking his head upward at an angle that sends a wave of pain down his spine. He’s forced to look up at him even as black starts obscuring his vision. Silver hair cascades around the both of them, creating a jarringly white tent as Sephiroth straddles his waist. The flicker of flames dance along the reflection in his slit pupils making Cloud choke more as he struggles against his weight.

Cloud spits the inky fluid on his cheek. It causes Sephiroth to smirk, running a thumb along Cloud’s lip that leaves a slick trail from his mouth and back down to his chin.

“I suppose I should tell you. You don’t need to save him because I  _ will _ .” He says, his voice cold but amused, like it’s a sick joke shared between the two of them, “I always will. Because that is the only outcome I will allow for the both of you.” 

Cloud tries to move, tries to find footing to kick out from beneath him. But his ankles are splayed outward not giving him the leverage to push himself away and Sephiroth’s knee is pressing into his hand, crushing the bones in his palms and fingers. Above them the roof begins to collapse in a mess of pulsing inky liquid and flames. Before he can think of what to do his head slams back to the floor, the impact causes stars to explode through his vision. Dazed, he tilts his head from one side to the other, trying to focus on a now blurred and doubled Sephiroth walking away from him.

“I am your strength, Cloud. And through both of your suffering, I will become your  _ everything _ .” He says, stopping just short of the door. “Isn’t that what you want? To be strong enough to stay by his side? 

“Stop.” Cloud murmurs weakly, his injured hand twitching as he pushes himself upright. As soon as he turns back to look again the supports in the beams crumble above him. They rain down in a shower of black, red, orange and gold. He raises both arms to shield himself, bracing for the impact. The debris never connects, only meeting him with more darkness.

In the morning, he waits with his eyes closed until Tifa leaves. It’s impossible to wash away the dark circles that cast shadows under his eyelids. In the end he realizes there’s no getting rid of how sunken they look. He settles for washing his mouth of the residual taste of mako. When it doesn’t go away after the first time he ducks his head under the faucet and just lets it run over his tongue.

The mirror is too telling. His eyes are bloodshot, making the faint glow around his pupils look muddy and crazed. He supposes right now that maybe that’s the most honest he can be about his feelings. With a passive hand through his bangs, he tries to slick the front back like Zack’s. He ends up shaking his head as they settle back into their usual position.

“Cloud?” Tifa knocks lightly on the door.

“Yeah? I’ll be down in a second.” Cloud says, propping himself up with both hands on the edges of the sink.

“Okay. I uh—I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Tifa says softly.

“I’m fine.” Cloud insists.

“Yeah. We’ll be downstairs waiting. Take as much time as you need.” 

It takes a few shaky inhales but eventually he slinks downstairs, his steps growing more quiet as he nears the bottom. 

“I know what your friend said might worry you.” Elmyra sighs, “But this has been something Aerith has known would happen for a long time. If you interfere it might only make things worse.” 

“Don’t you care about her?” Tifa asks meekly. 

“Of course I do!” Elmyra yells, making the table shake as she roughly puts down a mug of coffee.

“Miss, we ain’t accusing you of anything. But if it was one of us—we’d come running.”

Cloud quietly tilts his head back as he leans on the stairway’s railing. When he closes his eyes he can’t discern if he’s imagining the roof from his dream or the pillar crumbling above him. He pushes the thoughts as far back as he can make them go. 

“She is one of us.” Cloud says, finally taking the last step off the stairs. “And Zack would want us to find her no matter what.”

“Zack…” Elmyra sighs, her expression a mix of sadness and frustration. “He shouldn’t have come back here.”

“If he knew about Aerith he wouldn’t give up until he was sure she was safe. She’s why we came to Midgar.” Everyone goes quiet then, letting the room fall into a grieving lull. Cloud clenches both fists at his sides, “So, I’m going after her. You guys can come or not, I don’t care.” 

Another pause follows that’s long and uncomfortable, like maybe all of them are keeping from saying something they shouldn’t.

“We’re going with you.” Tifa says.

“I gotta keep an eye on you anyway, remember?” Barret nods.

Cloud softens, “What?”

Even Elmyra’s guard falls. She gives her thanks and even goes as far as to offer condolences for Zack. There’s still a stiffness in the air when she mentions him, but when she takes one of Cloud’s gloved hands and gives it a squeeze he thinks she means it. 

Before they go, the three of them stop at the Leaf House to find Wedge, Jessie and Biggs. 

“Take care of things here.” Barret says, “AVALANCHE needs to step up at times like this. We gotta make sure we’re doing what we can, we can’t help the planet if we can’t help our people first.” 

“We’ve got this. Marlene will be safe with us.” Biggs nods.

Jessie quickly gives Tifa a hug, “Make sure you come back in one piece, okay?” 

Wedge looks at Cloud, his eyes even more kind than usual. “Stay strong, bro.” 

He isn’t sure what else to do other than give a curt nod, more embarrassed than anything that his exhaustion is showing through. “I’ll do my best.”

Without warning Wedge pulls him into a crushing embrace, followed by Jessie who gives him a swift peck on the cheek. “For good luck.” She says.

They don’t spend too much time on goodbyes, mostly because getting topside was going to be an effort in itself and they were losing light. Tifa leads them back toward Wall Market, past a different population of injured than the night before. Near the expressway they’ve already transitioned into a whole unit, capable of proper medical triage, likely a result of Shinra stepping in to help. 

Cloud stops when they come up to the split between Sector’s six and seven, staring up at the rubble that piles high, up and over Seven’s gate.

“Cloud.” Tifa says, gently taking his hand, “I know there isn’t much time but...but if you wanted to look—to be sure.” 

“There’s nothing to find.” Cloud shakes his head.

“I just...it doesn’t feel right.” 

Cloud tilts his head.

“Leaving him there.” Tifa bites her lip. 

He thinks about the slabs he pulled away after it fell, his hands aching at the joints and his chest burning from the effort. Was that what Zack felt? Had he fallen and felt nothing, or did he have to fight through it? No he fought, he always would. 

Cloud steps a little closer toward the gate.

“Go on, Spikey. We’re right behind ya.” Barret says softly.

“Think you could blow a hole in it?” Cloud asks.

“Won’t go clean through, might help to break it up though.”

Cloud nods, “Worth a shot.”

They make sure the area is clear before stepping back and letting Barret fire a charged blast into the towering slabs of concrete. The burst melts away the base of the impacted structure and together they watch it collapse. Luckily, when they fall it creates a domino effect, chipping away at more debris going inward. Tifa casts barriers around the three of them and begins muscling her way through the opening. 

They reach a clearing about fifty yards in that’s surrounded by old shop signs and contorted water pipes. Tifa pries away a large wooden board, propping it up against a pile of rocks so they can all inspect what’s left of Seventh Heaven.

“We were all there yesterday.” Tifa says, running her hand along the chipped and worn out “V” in “Heaven.”

“We’ll be together like that again. Soon as we get Spikey’s friend back, we’ll find somewhere to rebuild the bar.” Barret says.

“Even better than the last.” Cloud nods. 

Tifa smiles a little at that, breathing out a determined huff before turning to continue through the rubble. 

“You think everyone got out in time?” Cloud asks.

Tifa grunts, pulling herself up and over an old retaining wall. “I think we made sure of it, Zack’s plan was pretty sound, it kept everyone safe and only used what resources we had to.” 

“He didn’t even want the neighborhood watch to be in the line of fire. But people in Seven—we look out for our own.” Barret sighs. 

Cloud starts to slow down when he realizes how close they’re getting to what remains of the pillar. He tries to even out his breathing again, but is reduced to a trembling inhale and an uncomfortable shudder. The more he tries, the tighter his chest gets, until he simply gives in to holding his breath. 

Barret and Tifa slide a broken metal grate out of the way, revealing a neatly winding path to the pillar’s base that’s covered in boot tracks.

“A search party?.” Tifa says.

“The neighborhood watch is spread too thin after helping with the evacuation. Shinra could be trying to make sure they get first dibs on finding survivors.” Cloud huffs.

“Let us not forget our corporate savior.” Barret rolls his eyes.

Cloud kneels down to inspect the footsteps, “They’re Shinra standard issue.” He sighs.

“Should we leave?” Tifa asks.

“If they were still here we would’ve known by now.” Cloud says plainly. 

He presses forward, following the steps as they turn the corner, going around and through gaps in the creaking pile of crumpled metal. They all flinch more than once as structures buckle above them, nearly collapsing from the weight of what’s piled for meters on top. Just past what looks like the foundation of the inn he can see beginnings of where the pillar’s stairwell should’ve been. The railings are twisted in an unsettling manner, spiraling into cracked and jagged bends in the stairs. 

“Look at this.” Tifa finds a pair of rebar rods sticking up and out of a shattered foundation. They’re both tinted with the barely rusting red of blood, still slightly wet. 

“I don’t see a blood trail.” Cloud says.

“If someone fell on these—there’s no getting out without help.” Tifa shakes her head.

“Hey, Spikey…” Barret says, his voice in a low rumble, “Ain’t that Soldier Boy’s?”

His stomach sinks when Barret refers to him, making him take a slow, deep breath before turning around. Once he collects himself, he turns on his heel, only to feel the rush of anxiety flooding back, making him stumble forward clutching his middle from the nausea. Ahead the handle and hilt of the buster sword sticking out and covered in dust. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Cloud's chapters are harder for me to write for some reason. I struggled a bit with this one because I wanted Cloud to feel rather distant and a bit like he's just going through the motions without it feeling choppy. I edited it a bunch but if there's mistakes, my apologies! I intend to get this whole story beta'd when it's all finished :) As usual, kudos are always welcome and I LOVE hearing yall's thoughts <3 See you next update!


	12. Twelve

“Fair.” 

The sound of his name is muffled and distant, though Zack’s surprised he’s hearing anything at all. 

“He’s alive. Report to R&D.” 

It’s a struggle to keep his eyes open. When he tries to move the strength it takes to turn his head leaves it lolling off to the side until he breathes in again, only to turn to face the other. 

“Don’t move, you’ll only aggravate the injury.” 

He starts to come to, first by the smell of smoke and the taste of mako and iron, next by the familiar, evenly toned voice of Tseng. A little panicked, Zack shakily reaches up, grazing his hand along the length of rebar that leads down and into his abdomen. His breathing gets a little ragged as he tries not to move, fingers hovering over both bars, unsure what to do.

“Ts-Tseng…”

“I said don’t move, Fair. Mako won’t even be able to stop that amount of bleeding.”

Tseng calls for the medic over and over again, growing more frustrated at the lack of urgency. By the time they arrive Zack’s vision has grown dark around the edges, making it difficult to hold onto consciousness. He can feel hands, grabbing at his pauldrons and pant legs, readying themselves to lift him up. 

“No—no please.” Zack whimpers.

“On my count.” Tseng says, “One…Two…”

“Don’t!”

“Three.”

The moment he’s pulled upward, pain from the serrated metal shoots through his middle and burns down his spine. His cry sounds not unlike a wounded animal, shrill and weak as he tries to grit his teeth through the pain. It isn’t enough, he exhausts himself, watching their hands reaching and the pressure of them on his wound until he falls limp in the arms of the medics.

When he wakes again he can only think of what Aerith had told him about the planet being a fickle thing. 

At moments, it can feel kind. A giver—of life, of beauty, and of freedom. But it also takes, it takes in a way that is jarring, in a way that she says it has never intended to take. At times its cries are volatile, aching, and with a vengeance no one can place. And in others, it reaches for something, caressing its inhabitants with a sense of calm and a promise for tomorrow. 

Here, as he flutters his eyes open Zack knows something about it is unhinged. He sums it up to the amount of energy that must be returning to it. He can feel the rise of it like tendrils, pulling away to bring those lost to the pillar back to it. But there is also a darkness that follows it, one that tries to blend in, disguising itself as similar energy that slowly buries deep, taking nothing with it but keeping a weight wrapped around his ankles.

The feeling surrounds him in tanks where the corruption pulses as a thick black liquid, expanding and contracting as it refuses to conform to the shape that binds it. It’s then that he realizes he’s in a similar environment, floating awkwardly in claustrophobic weightlessness.

He closes his eyes when the substance writhes violently.

Footsteps clank against the metal floor, “Shall I explain that one to you?” 

Zack shakes his head.

“Cells in mako.” Hojo says anyway, stepping down from one of the container’s platforms. “Refined cells, broken down to their most simplistic structure. Beautiful isn’t it?”

Zack glares, unable to turn his head or glance anywhere but ahead of him.

“Please don’t worry, they aren’t for you. I wouldn’t dare tarnish a specimen like yourself with them—there’s still so much to study.”

He slides a greasy hand down the glass of his cell, a wide smirk contorting his lips as he closes his eyes, pressing his forehead against the surface. “Can you feel the pull? The urge to draw closer to its source?” He breathes. 

The sound of metal on glass jars him, making him want nothing more than to back away into the furthest reaches of the tank. When he tries, the tubes and wires tighten, keeping him tangled into the enclosure, causing monitors and sensors to beep and Hojo’s eyes to shoot open.

“Don’t be afraid. I have something for you.”

A light flicks on across from him, illuminating a cell adjacent to his. 

“Do you remember this one?” Hojo says, backing away in a giddy skip that makes him nauseous. “Of course you do.”

“Zack!” Aerith calls out to him, her metal stool in hand having used it to throw against the glass.

The moment he hears he pulls on his wires and tubes until a few of them snap, continuing to lurch forward no matter how painful. “A—rith!”

“We’ve been monitoring the both of you for years now. I must say, I’m glad our efforts to apprehend you didn’t end up tarnishing my research.”

He finds his voice, hoarse and gruff and wreaking with mako. “Fuck you!” 

“SOLDIERs.” Hojo continues, “Their strength and ferocity are truly something to behold. The perfect fighters, created with stamina and strength that is unmatched.”

“But I’m a failure, right? You said so yourself.” Zack scoffs.

“Perhaps at the time. But I believe science allowed that small failure to give me the opportunity to use you for something greater.”

Zack steals a glance at Aerith, his expression softening as she sits desperately on the floor of her enclosure.

“You’ve caught on I see. Through a combination of the cells of an S-Type SOLDIER and a half blooded Ancient, I believe I may be able to create a subject as close to the real thing were this specimen to…expire.” Hojo matter of factly.

“So, breeding.” Zack looks back at him. 

“Precisely.”

“You really th—“

He’s interrupted by the quiet buzz of the professor’s watch. “We’ll have to continue this conversation later I’m afraid. The president mustn’t be kept waiting.”

“I’ll kill you.” Zack growls. 

“Ah, my boy. I look forward to recording your attempt.”

He waits for the gates of the nearby elevator to squeal shut followed by the soft whir of the elevator as it rises. 

“Aerith.” Zack says, exhaling heavily to get his voice to carry across the lab.

He can her boots patter against the grated floor as she stands. “Hey, I’m here.” 

“I know.” Zack smiles at that, “I’m gonna get you out of here—just need a little time, okay?”

“You’re hurt…” Aerith sighs, “I think we need to worry about you first.”

Zack sucks in a shallow breath, “I’m okay. How are you doing, how did you end up here?”

“Same as you. Trying to help.” Aerith smiles.

“I told you to—get out of the sector.” Zack scolds.

“And I told you to stay safe.” Aerith counters, “So I guess we both messed up, huh?”

Zack chuckles hoarsely, “Fair enough. I guess I’m glad to see you’re okay, even under these circumstances.”

“Well, I’ll be honest. I’m pretty mad at you.” Aerith shakes her head, “What about everyone else?”

“They’re okay.” Zack nods, “Or they should be.”

“Prioritizing everyone over yourself, again.”

“Right back at you.” 

“Stupid.” Aerith sighs, though her lips keep her soft smile.

“It’s why I love you.” Zack smiles weakly, “You’d do anything for anyone who needed it.”

“It’s still stupid!” Aerith snaps, “Both of us here? What about Cloud?”

Zack scoffs, “I love him for different reasons... So long as he’s okay. That’s all that mattered to me.”

“You think he’s gonna just go on without you?”

“Has to.” He hadn’t thought about just how weak he was feeling. The adrenaline that had taken over his senses is fading, leaving him barely enough strength to lift a finger. The more he thinks about it, the more difficult it gets, until all he can start to see is the blue green tint of it, the taste, the smell of mako and more mako. 

It begins to peel away at him, stripping him of all feeling. From the crown of his head to the tips of his toes, it feels like floating as the tide tosses him to shore and back until he can’t see the shore at all.

Is this how it felt for Cloud back then?

“Zack?” Aerith calls to him, “Hey, keep talking, you have to stay awake.”

He opens his eyes to see her with her palms pressed firmly to the glass, the wires cascading in the room around him. “I’m here.” Zack says quietly.

“Good. Just hold on for me, okay?”

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to—get back to you.”

“And you did.” Aerith says, “You got back to me. And now I need you to hold on. That’s all I need.”

“I’m trying.”

“Good.” She says again, but her voice starts to feel muffled, distorting on every syllable until she’s indiscernible.

Underneath Shinra Manor, he would often anchor himself to something; the crackle of a radio, the bubble of a beaker, the rise and fall of Cloud’s breathing. It came down to anything that would keep him present. Now, he focuses on the slender, far away image of Aerith’s fingers against the glass. They twitch or curl into her palm when she calls out to him. He can hear—barely, a mess of voices against the sloshing of water. 

Her fingers begin to blur until finally, Cloud’s voice finds him as he drifts, “Stay with me.” 

“C-Cloud? Hey, Cloud where—where are you?” He tugs at the wires, feeling the dull ache of the wound on his abdomen. Pairing the throbbing with the sting of the sensors ripping from his skin only seems to sink him down deeper, tugging and tugging until he falls away to darkness once again. 

Somehow, he wakes again—frustrated at the seemingly endless repetition of falling and waking. Cold metal against his back and the brightness of a light above him coaxes him back to his senses. He twitches a finger first, then crinkles his nose, slowly contracting every muscle one by one. With a breath of relief he sits up when he doesn’t feel any pain.

Around him the room is sterile, only the faint glow of mako cooled refrigerators that hold medical instruments, and what looks like an outdated poster explaining the mako enhancement process he remembers from training. 

“Aerith?.” Zack calls out quietly, trying not to alarm anyone who may be around. 

He remembers a room just like this in the SOLDIER’s quarters. It was bright and welcoming, a testing center dressed in helpful hospital clothing. He remembers treatments, small doses of mako that came with side effects like mild nausea and sweats. As they boosted the dose the effects would taper off, eventually leaving SOLDIERs with nothing but the benefits. Or so they said.

When he touches his feet down to the floor he realizes his boots are gone, and he’s been stripped of his belts and pauldrons. The black tile is uncomfortably cold to the pads of his feet, so he tiptoes, awkwardly rushing to the door to grab hold of the wall for balance.

“Down the hall and to the left.” Zack murmurs, trying to remember the directions to the elevator.

Following old instructions takes him to another set of hallways and abrupt turns. The corridors consist of evaluation and operating rooms all the way down. He lets out a frustrated sigh when he realizes half of them are locked.

“The hell am I?” He growls, spinning around, “Where is everyone?” 

It wasn’t like R&D to leave patients unattended. Not with people like Hojo obsessing over any scrap of data they can find. They often had charts to maintain and more wires to attach, more questions to answer or some other shit that Zack knows now would only lead to something even worse. 

Three right turns and a left and he finally finds an unlocked door. When it opens a rush of warm air rushes through making him shiver from the sudden change in temperature. He walks over and looks over a nearby railing, seeing the stairwell that can carry him all the way to the ground floor.

“Wait for me.” Zack says softly, smiling a little as he thinks of Aerith and Cloud, “I’m comin’ back for you.” 

Walking down isn’t hard, in fact, he’d like to thank the gods that he didn’t have to go up. But somehow the floors remain unchanging, only descending from fifty-nine, fifty eight, fifty seven and back again. 

“I’m dreaming, aren’t?” Zack shakes his head, “‘Course I am. In that case—“

He turns to open the door back to the fifty ninth floor, finding himself in a corridor completely different from the one where he started. The air is dank, and the lights are dimmer and the further he walks the more the bright green the glow seems to get ahead of him. 

The hallway opens into a wide room so bright with the glow of mako that it makes him sick. Monitors and controls line the curves of the walls, and more wires hug the corners, climbing up to the ceiling, leading to a large tank that is housed in the middle. He inches forward, wary of what he’ll find behind the thick glass walls that he knows only moments before waking held himself. 

Inside, he doesn’t find what he expects. Instead, he finds the floating and limp mass of a younger boy. He couldn’t be more than ten years old but cables connect him to a metal headband that encircles his head and chest, leading to sensors that pepper his limbs. Looking closer Zack can see his eyelids shut tight behind silvery hair that stays suspended around him, obscuring his face from view. 

“Mako enhanced kids?” Zack murmurs, gently resting his fingertips on the glass. “Dream or not...this is so fucked.”

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

He looks up to see the child’s eyes have opened, revealing the same bright and poisonous green of Sephiroth’s. Zack stumbles backward, a wave of pain immediately rips through his temples causing him to clutch and claw at both sides of his head. The older Sephiroth steps into view, blocking the child that floats lifelessly in the container behind him.

“You shouldn’t resist me.” Sephiroth says, the glass of the glowing cylinder cracking behind him. “You’ll only know too much, but not enough to save him. Giving in, however…”

“St-stop.” Zack winces.

Sephiroth laughs at that and Zack’s head is forcibly jerked upward to see the wide eyed and cat-like view of the child. “Suffering can be a great teacher.” 

“Just tell me what the hell you want!” Zack grits his teeth.

“I want to know what you think he means to you.” Sephiroth hisses.

“What?”

A crooked smirk curls up at the corner of his lips, “What is it that draws you to him?”

Static ripples through him this time, it comes with jolts of electricity that send a jumble of memories flickering in and out of him. All of them feelings of warmth, feelings of protection, all of them with a pull toward something that feels greater, something heavy.

“You’re not—that’s not true.”

“Say it.” 

Zack shakes his head, “No.”

The glass crackles against the content’s pressure, “If you won’t say it, then I will make you.”

Zack glares up through another searing pain through his temple. 

“Say it!” Sephiroth snarls, his voice a mix of both child and adult.

Zack feels like he may be split in two. The mako in the pod begins to leak from the cracks and the small fingers of the child reach, pushing on the weakened surface. Another current of pain and the glass shatters, flooding the room up to his forearms. He can hear the splash of small feet, making him back away in a scrambling crawl.

Zack shakes his head as the room begins to fade into darkness, trying to fight off the constant repetition. Falling—waking, only to fall and wake again.

“Or shall I ask him for you?”

“No!” The last surge of agony causes him to collapse, coughing on a mix of mako and some thick black liquid. He tries to push himself back up, but something in the shallow pool feels gripping, holding him down until he can feel only more pain and then almost nothing.

“I’m not giving you the choice.”

Zack struggles against Sephiroth’s gravity and his own dimming vision. He can feel the cold of it, then the warmth, the delicate pressure of something so familiar, something guiding him home.

“Jenova.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that we've caught up with everyone's bad day...let's get these boys back together soon. As usual, kudos are always welcome and I love hearing yall's thoughts <3 See you next update!


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